The Evening in Haiku

Chinese seafood place
Sy Association night
dinner and raffle.

Typical Chinese
food made me glad I had a
sandwich earlier.

New officers
sang the National Anthem.
(Face us or the flag?)

Johnny Walker was
being passed along tables.
God, I wish I drank.

I was bored to tears,
but fortunately I then
won eight hundred bucks!

My parents and my
uncle, on the other hand,
didn't win diddly.

And now a final
observation for this night.
(Moon cake door prizes!)

Old man had a mole
at the corner of his lip.
It looked malignant.

No, wait. My mistake.
It was just the tip of his
tongue sticking out. (Ew.)

Weird Sight(s) of the Day

Of all the times to have a WSOTD entry w/o pictures to accompany it. Anyhoo...

• I saw a homeless kid --sporting only a T-shirt and briefs but riding the latter up to his butt like a pseudo T-thong-- shaking his skinny booty at the front office window of a bottled water refilling station, much to the irritation or indifference of the guy who was busy filling up (or cleaning) those huge water cooler jugs. I couldn't really interpret the guy's reaction (since I was just passing by in a moving vehicle), but the kid was definitely enjoying himself.

• In the midst of the rainy season a construction worker (for some reason they're never as busy in the dry season as they are in the wet ones) put his leg over one handle of the jackhammer he was using, presumably attempting to use his body weight to push the thing further into the concrete street. Couldn't they have just hired a bigger guy to operate the thing? This man probably uses his teeth to crack crab shells while eating them. (Last time I did that I chipped a molar.)

10 Thoughts on Avenue Q

Caught this show at RCBC Plaza w/ Cheryl. Would have taken pictures but both she and the play's production crew were camera-shy. While the latter had more legal grounds to be as such, the excuse of the former--while being a lawyer herself-- was a bit flimsy. And why give away flavored bottled water at the entrance while forbidding food and drinks to be brought inside?

• In hindsight I shouldn't have listened to the official soundtrack before watching the musical, as I was unable to bask in the freshness of the jokes, nor unable to laugh as hard as the rest of the audience upon hearing them.
• And maybe it was just me or my view from the balcony, but I was having trouble separating the puppet from the performer. Maybe that was the point (with performers emphasizing facial expressions the puppets are unable to), maybe not (some of the cast performing dual puppet roles onstage). I do agree w/ Rachel Alejandro's casting as Kate Monster and Lucy the Slut, as her wide vocal range was needed to pull of the role. On the other hand there were times Felix Rivera and Rycharde Everley were slipping into their respective Tagalog and British accents. Ah, what the hell. They were supposed to be in New York, anyway, melting pot and all.
  
• The Bert N Ernie gay analogy was out in half-full force w/ Ricky and Rod. I say half because only one of them was homosexual. Too bad Rod look more like Guy Smiley w/ glasses.
• I understand the reason for casting Aiza Seguerra as Gary Coleman. But height notwithstanding, she manages to capture the voice of Gary as a parody of himself, accent and all, w/ the slightest touch of Wanda Sykes. Just wish they found a red-n-blue striped sweater for her to wear underneath that Dutch Boy jumpsuit.
• Judging by audience reaction, nothing gets people howling more that a puppet simulating masturbation. Even more than simulated puppet sex.
• Kate Monster got the best lines ("Is her name... Purpose?"), while the Bad Idea Bears reminded me of Fluffy and Uranus, 2 also annoyingly creepy/cuddly bears who were freqently mutilated by their boss Duckman (another adult cartoon gem). ("Take her home!" "She's wasted!")
• Christmas Eve (played by Frenchie Dy by way of MadTV's Miss Swan) is wearing Crocs!
• Audience Participation came w/ The Money Song, when the cast went to ask for spare change from the people in the orchestra section. Good thing nobody came up the balcony. (Hello!? If we had extra cash we woulda paid for orchestra seats.)
• Nice the see the play's ending didn't go where I expected it. BA in English guy was a complete red herring.
• Shell out the extra dough instead of sticking it out in the P500 nosebleed section. Cheapskate and slowpoke that I am I only managed to get balcony seats for the last row. The balcony railings (and audience members on the first 2 rows) obscured my view of the stage the spotlight guy distracted us w/ his taking directions (from I'm assuming the technical director). It was the equivalent of watching a CAM copy of a movie. (Downloaders would know what I'm talking about.)
  

Side note: If I wanted a "name" cast for the musical I'd get the folks from Clueless. Imagine Paul Rudd as Princeton, Alicia Silverstone as Kate Monster, Stacey Dash as Gary Coleman, etc. Amy Heckerling, gimme a call.

The Road to Health is Paved w/ High Fiber

Did not have any rice today. Breakfast: Oatmeal and a tuna spread sandwich (own recipe). Lunch: Diced beef and pechay stir-fried w/ olive oil (own recipe). Snack: Lily's peanut butter sandwich. Dinner: Chicken and microwaved scrambled egg sandwich. All sandwiches used hi-fiber wheatbread. Worked out before dinner, and had 10 fibre capsules (5 each for 2 of the meals).

Imagine doing that 7 times a week. If I still end up getting cancer or a heart attack I'm gonna be mighty pissed.

Catching Up (Yet Again)

I felt like kicking myself for not taking full advantage of last week when the 'rents were off vacationing in Hong Kong. Didn't go out as much as I wanted, but instead made use of the new DVD player Ma won in a raffle (1 of 2 units, as well as a cordless phone). It had Divx, Xvid playback and .srt/.sub subtitle reading capabilities, as well as a USB port where I could plug in my Creative Muvo mp3 player like a flash drive. So now I can watch my downloaded movies on a normal television screen and lay on the couch while doing so.

On Friday I watched a "Concert for the Environment" at Le Pavillon sponsored by Cemex, featuring Fat Session (bad pun), Noel Cabangon (Joey Ayala lite), Kjwan (the J is silent) and The Dawn (bastards didn't even sing Enveloped Ideas). W/ me were Aissa, Raymond, Bebot, Rona (Dale Carnegie classmate) and her officemate Rhea. I'm not exactly sure what "environmentally friendly cement" is or how being sold in plastic bags isn't contradictory to that claim, but then again I was only there for the concert and grub.

Cocktail food, pasta and drinks were more than abundant (only had 1 SanMig Light, tho'), but all that beer and red wine still couldn't release the inhibitions of some of the corporate crowd that attended. Well, I never thought rock bands and suits mixed, much less rock concerts and plastic garden chairs. Fat Session run the gamut of covers, bookending the show by practically singing the entire Chorus Girls playlist and various disco/dance numbers. Former President and First Lady Ramos were in attendance, and man, did they grab attention of the rest of the VIPs (as well as the media), much to the chagrin of the band Kjwan, who was in the middle of a song number that went out to the quickly-emptied seats of the first 3 rows. All in all a okay show. Rons and Rhea even got to take home some penne bolagnese.

Saturday I went to the Book Expo w/ Goldy. Ran into Jan (who returned my DVDs), Lola (at the NBS booth where I bought Vol. 10 of 100 Bullets and where they where selling a copy of Absolute Sandman 175 bucks cheaper than when I bought it), Blessed and Marlene, who by coinkydink knew Goldy and tried to pry about whether we were an item or whatever. Far be it for me to share information on something even I wasn't sure of, so I didn't. wink wink nudge nudge. Had Japanese for dinner, Starbucks for dessert and their free bags of coffee ground ("for your garden") for souvenirs. When I got home the 'rents had arrived. They got what I asked for: at pair of wireless headphones (Logitech)! Bluetooth tech rocks!

Geneva (Yeah, Like the Convention) or Finally Getting Around to Blogging This

The cutie between the 2 Beijinoys is Geneva McLoughlin. She's from North Carolina but we met in Beijing. She was in town coupla weeks ago but I only found out by random happenstance.

I was looking to hire a mutual friend for a wedding emcee gig. A woman answered his cellphone. Her voice (and American accent) sounded familiar but I couldn't place it at the time. Next day mutual friend calls back and says Geneva's in town and he had lent her his phone since he's acting as her host during her vacation here. I got to talk to her again and we arranged to meet up once she got back from Cebu. (Yes, mutual friend is thorough w/ the hosting thing. I woulda just brought her to Intramuros.)

Monday the week after while waiting for Geneva at the Power Plant branch of Fully Booked I read some Will Eisner comics (the hell w/ "No Browsing, Pls."). Finally I saw a petite, literally fashionably late woman wearing a vinyl faux snow leopard skin overcoat trying to call me on her cellphone. By the time it rang I was literally behind her. We had coffee at the Starbucks on the same floor.

Little backstory: Probably the most notorious event during Geneva's stay on Beijing was when she was beaned on the head w/ a brick by a fellow student (who was apparently a few bricks short of a load himself) supposedly because he was offended at the sight of her in a miniskirt. In the end she got a mild concussion, suffered some memory loss and we never did find out the identity of the culprit (other than he's the son of some Korean diplomat muckety muck). I even considered using a false identity at the BLCU registrar to try to check his records, but sadly that plan fizzled out.

While a coupla emails from her mom made Geneva's condition sound worse than it actually was (w/c was why I never bothered to email back since I thought she wouldn't remember me anyway), thankfully that wasn't the case. Yeah, she's fine. Seems that one incident (written in the email) about her not remembering her favorite food when her mom placed it in front of her was more a case of Mom bringing out her daughter's favorite food when she was a kid, and daughter casually asking, "What's this?" I totally get that. Hell, I used to like homemade fried chicken as a kid, but I cringe at the thought of eating that mid-deep fried and dried mess now.

Got that? She's fine. After our long chat at Starbucks I invited Debbie and Aileen to join us for dinner at Jollibee, w/c Geneva's been dying (ok, just mildly curious) to try.

Oh, Yeah...

What were the events the transpired the day before that I forgot to blog about?

What do you call nightmares w/ happy endings? Seriously. Bad Dream That Ends Well? Dreammare? Anyhoo, I had one of those. Horrible. I thought my best friend was mauled/beaten to death. I headed for my room to meet the 'rents, all the while dealing w/ grief the way I do when I'm awake: stoic, anxious, and in denial 'til I actually see the body. As I open the door who comes to greet me in w/ tears and a hug but my best friend, alive. I realize it's a dream but the flood of joy, relief and all those other positive emotions I felt seemed real. I didn't wake up crying tears of joy, mind you, but there was a lingering feeling that this day was going to be a good one.

Good news came in the form of an email telling me my book order went through and was shipped the next day. My evening was spent reminiscing via Youtube, watching clips of shows I grew up watching, like Marlo & the Magic Movie Machine, Punky Brewster and Perfect Strangers. Well worth skipping over my dloaded copy of Reefer Madness: the Movie Musical. Guess you had to watch the original to appreciate the satirical nature of the remake.

Oh, and Jack Palance's version of Ripley's Believe It or Not! is far superior to Dean Cain's exteme-showcase-fear-factor-lite presentation. Argh, I really wish my Betamax machine was still working. Hell, I wish it was still intact.

10 Thoughts on The Simpsons Movie and Ratatouille

Caught this last week at Power Plant mall, a "double feature date" w/ Goldy and her sister Kim. Seriously underestimated the Saturday crowd, but at least our seats were far from the screaming kids. And I saw my model crush Georgina Wilson, who turned out to be not as freakishly tall as I imagined her. She was accompanied by BF Richard Gutierrez and fellow model girlfriends, who shrieked when one of them appeared on the big screen in a commercial. Sigh. Getcher kicks where ya can...

I'll alternate thoughts between flicks:

• As with most TV-to-movie cartoon transitions, with TSM you could see the difference in terms of scope (widescreen) and "level of maturity" (Bart's wang, Homer flipping people off). I liken it to an OAV or the Batman direct to DVD animated movies.
• Cute as Rata's rodents were, Goldy could not get over the grossness of the concept of rats in the kitchen cooking. Talking toys, bugs, monsters, fish and cars, fine, but rats that cook? Eugh. No better than cooked rats, I gather.
• If you've been on the air for 18 seasons, some storylines are bound be retread: Bart (and Marge) fighting w/ Homer, Bart ends up w/ Flanders, Homer goes on a reflective quest, etc. Thankfully the jokes themselves are fresh.
• In terms of casting, Patton Oswalt(as Remy) isn't the most recognizable name (outside followers of American standup comedy and The King of Queens), and Janeane Garofalo (as Collette) was almost unrecognizable w/ her faux French accent. Peter O'Toole (as Anton Ego), on the other hand, I spotted right away.
• Boy, that Harry Plopper just went up and disappeared halfway through the second act, didn't he? Same deal w/ Lisa's would-be environmentalist /boyfriend, Colin. And just when Spider-Pig became the latest incarnation of Last Song Syndrome.
• While I was fine with the rat-chef concept, the infestation in the food closet have me the heebie jeebies. I was expecting Willard to do a cameo.
• Longtime viewers of the series are rewarded with the appearance of the thousand-eyed creature (in reference to Blinky the 3-eyed fish), as well as the scene of Homer and Bart finally making it over Springfield Gorge (see Bart the Daredevil). And Die, Dr. Nick!
• I loved the more-or-less realistic reaction of the kitchen staff when they walked out on Linguini after he tells them about Remy. C'mon, when someone you think was a master chef credits a rat for his skills, either you have him put away or bring him to the nearest tabloid reporter. Hell, the Supreme Court booted a judge who said he consulted magical dwarves in his cases. Still, the quasi realism was shattered when both a chef and food critic became accepting of Remy's talents. Yeah, yeah, we need our Happy Ending w/o The Lie.
• Much as I liked TSM, I probably could've just waited for the DVD.
  
• For those who want to know what real ratatouille looks like:

Obviously catering to both peasants and vegetarians alike.

My Brother's Wedding Video

They oughtta put this under Apple Quicktime Movie Trailers:

Prison Break (As In "Taking A...")

Saw 2 vid posts this morning that are both Haha Funny and Haha Strange. It's the inmates of the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center (or NAMBLA-- winkwink Jon Stewart) practicing song and dance numbers of Thriller and Hail Holy Queen (from Sister Act). As I am too lazy to register to Youtube I'll just post the links for them here and here. Please watch them and be amazed, and by amazed I mean bewildered and go "WTF...?"

A few quips:

• Seeing as how the major prisons in Metro Manila are hopelessly overcrowded and writhing in filth and gangs, it's nice (and disturbing) to see how prison officials in Cebu could organize something like this. The Thriller dance number supposedly has 1500 inmates choreographed into something that reminds me of those North Korean tribute performances to Kim Jong Il. I can't even fathom getting 1500 convicts to cooperate for... anything outside of a prison break/riot, much less a dance number.
  
• I wonder if the guys playing the female parts are branded as somebody's b*tch afterwards, or were they already beforehand?
• I hope the cons who participated got more out of this other than their 15 minutes of online fame. Reduced sentence, enhanced visitation rights, an actual talent fee, etc.
• I smell a movie in this. High concept pitch: It's The Shawshank Redemption meets Chicago.
• I hope their next bit is from Riverdance.