Coulda Been Bettah

Just got back from emceeing my first wedding reception this year (Yes, I've been having a bit of a dry spell, gig-wise) , held at the Sofitel Grand Ballroom for newlyweds (and, I'd like to think, new friends) Edmund and Candice (Tiu) Tang. Inspite of today's heavy rains (Sunday Floody Sunday) since I took EDSA I made it with time to spare.

The most popular feature at the reception was definitely the photo booth, but I wasn't able to partake of it. Also, for the longest time I've been taking less and less good pix of events I attend, w/c worries me, but I digress.

To describe my perfomance as being rough around the edges would be a kindness. "Edges?" Try "Needing a for a sandblaster."

My first pre-show misstep came when I left the DVD of the AVP in the car. Luckily my Personal Assistant* was able to retrieve it for me.

My first official misstep came the minute I introduced myself and called out the first pair of principal sponsors, because I misread my PA's hand signals and started the show when I should've just asked the principal sponsors to gather out in the hall.

Then on my second try, I missed saying "Mr." and "Mrs." twice in my introductions (sorry, parents of the Groom). Then my DVD wouldn't play (Pioneer DVD players can be really picky when it comes to DVD-RWs), so we had to use the WDTV box. More cues missed thanks to spotlight guy not being to spot the people named during the acknowledgments, but it turned out I was really just supposed to mention their names, period.

I missed one couple out of the 7 I was supposed to call for the Kiss-Or-Dice game, and the second game of bachelor limbo rock wasn't executed as well as I wanted, so selecting the winner felt a bit ambiguous.

Final official flub was me rambling near the end, since I was asked to wrap it up w/o actually saying "Good night," since the band was still gonna jam w/the entourage, etc.

Post-show flub? Failed to print business cards. At least one girl asked for one, but luckily I had pencil and extra kodigo paper at hand.

All in all it felt like a wedding dinner rehearsal that played live, warts and all. And boy, it played quickly. We were done in less than 2 hours. Bride grumbled a bit at my performance (welcome to the club, dear), but overall seemed fine with it. Groom was more forgiving, as well as the newlyweds' moms. Not expecting any references from wedding coorindator anytime soon.

Lessons learned? Try to find more ways to engage the audience. I think my catchphrase of the night was "Let's hear the sound of 1300 hands clapping," (they had 65 tables at 10pax) but it never occurred to me that due to the heavy rains a lot of guests had to cancel, so my clever bit falls prey to inancurrate math. The other cathphrase? "Sound Salad, ladies and gentlemen." I think I introduced the band so many times I was starting to sound like their manager.

Good points? Well, I look damn snazzy in a suit and tie. Plus I didn't have to speak Chinese, tho' that meant all that translating I had done and rehearsing my lines were for naught.

And now as host I'd like to thank the following:

Thanks to Kym for getting me this gig.

Thanks to wedding coordinator ex-tah-roar-da-naire Caroline Sevilla for steering the ship through choppy waters. If you privately badmouth my performance tonight I totally understand.

Thanks to my P.A. Carlos, 'coz now I can say I've had a personal assistant assigned to me (I feel like Carrie Fisher). Honestly, in all the time I've been doing this I've been given a P.A. to help me out.

Thanks finally to Edmund and Candice for trusting me to do my job when, honestly, they could have gotten someone else, someone more experienced, possibly funnier and w/ much better hair and charisma. I know I was a last-minute replacement of-sorts, so I hope I didn't disappoint either of you too badly. ;)

CelluLost, CelluFound

Yesterday while dropping Mom off at the side entrance of SM Sta. Mesa (near their SM Appliances building), I dropped my cellphone, but didn't notice it was missing 'til I got home. Used Ma's phone to call it, but didn't hear a peep from inside the Hi-Ace.

Not in here, then. But I know I had it w/ me on the road. Crap, must've fallen off outside Centerpoint.

I started calling it. No answer. I sent text messages to it saying the phone was reported missing, and to call Mom's cell if found ASAP. Went back w/ the driver to the "scene of the crime" and asked the traffic guard if he noticed a Nokia 6300 lying on the road about an hour ago (no joke). He said he didn't and directed me to their customer relations office. They said no-one reported anything of a sort, but I left my contact numbers w/ them just the same.

Went home and texted the same notice to my phone, but in poorly worded Tagalog. I added the para makakuha nang biyaya, thinking the latter word meant "reward," but it actually meant, "grace" or "blessing."

Either way it worked. Couple of minutes later I got a call from someone named "Hammer" ("Parang yung martilyo?" "Oo, ganun din yung spelling.") who said he found my phone and lived in V. Mapa (Whew, malapit). We arranged to meet this morning at the Mercury Drugstore branch near Centerpoint.

When he was late I was getting antsy, but eventually inside the pharmacy I was approached by a decently dressed (tho' effeminately made up) man who asked me, "Kayo ba si Wel-vin?" Just then left pants pocket sang out my Simpsons acapella ringtone. I answered it, and it was Bebot (who accompanied me as a "lookout") asking if this was Hammer. I told her I got the phone and gave Hammer a cash envelope before parting ways.

Lessons learned? One: Don't be so freakin' absentminded w/ handling your cellphones. If it's on your lap, put it in your bag. Two: Honest people are out there. You just have to make an effort to find them. :)