11 Senior Citizens and 2 Adults (My China Vacation), Part 2 of 3

Wednesday, Oct. 10, 2007

After breakfast I went around and shot some more photos before all of us rode the bus for JiuZhaiGou National Park. The tour wasn’t as exhausting as I expected, probably because we just hopped back and forth shuttle buses to get around and see the park's various lakes, rivers and waterfalls.

The difficulty in capturing the park's majestic scenery was apparent w/ me taking lots of partial shots so that I could stitch them together on Photoshop for one panoramic image (sample below).

Despite the fact that China’s official week-long holiday was over last week, tourists were still aplenty. With all the shoving that had to be done in order to get on the shuttle buses it was like rush hour in Beijing. While I think there’s a certain charm to seeing Chonkers bring their friends and family to see their country’s tourist spots, at the same time I wish they’d disappear for a bit (or at least move a little to the left) so I could get that postcard-perfect shot of Panda Lake. Hell, some would be newlyweds/semi-pro wedding models came here for their wedding photos. Some in our group opted to have their picture taken by a professional. Pricey.

And then there’s the problem of traveling w/ 11 senior citizens, as there’s the possibility that one or two would tire easily. While Xiao Mao said we were well behaved (and liked to go to the bathroom a lot), Uncle Peter (not my real uncle) was pooped from all the walking, so we didn’t get to see what Xiao Mao called “best” lake in the tour (probably either Long Lake or Jade-Colored), since it was an hour’s hike away. Oh, well, it was getting repetitive, anyway.

* * *

After we got back to our Plexi-domed resort for dinner, we again headed back out to visit the artificial Qiang village (built next to the Holiday Inn) for a cultural song and dance show called Dreamland Journey. I can best describe the 80-minute program as a mix of a Las Vegas show and MegaoperaTM, or Broadway’s Lion King meets Moulin Rouge.

And despite strict instructions on the teleprompter to the contrary, the audience still took pictures, shot video and tossed the pre-cut pads of confetti unto the stage. Still, that same teleprompter proved useful in providing an English translation of the story and songs. For the grand finale, the performers invited us to participate in the bonfire dance outside, then the stage wall opened like airline hangar doors leading to the back lot where the buses were parked! We literally exited through the stage.

* * *

For my nightcap I decided to try out the resort’s spa, which was raining from the inside due to all the heat produced by their artificial hot springs. It was ah-may-zing as I used their 43º Celsius hot pool/ “spring” and steam room. The former was great, the latter not-so-pleasant. It was like my whole body was trying to inhale the steam while burning my nostrils (or cooking my lungs, whichever visual’s more disturbing) at the same time. How Finnish people find this relaxing is beyond me.

Thursday, Oct. 11, 2007

The morning was dark and hazy. Killed time in my hotel room before we left for our first destination, w/c turned out to be Qiang and Tibet handicraft store, and a mini history museum w/c lead to the aforementioned store(s). Now our tour flyer said visits to Jewelry, Crystal and Pearl shops were not allowed. That said, girl's gotta make a buck. Sigh.

The mini-museum was my introduction to the existence of sky jade and Gzi beads, stones with natural color combinations and patterns that resembled eyes, Buddha, and even Swastikas (the good kind). Pa bought me a Gzi bead necklace w/ a double-eye pattern, supposedly for “a stable marriage and harmonious family.” Personally I got tired of looking at all that sky jade, turquoise, amber and purple jade.

* * *

On the bus Xiao Mao told us a story about how back in JZG Park yesterday their security was asking for our passports. Xiao Mao found that unnecessary and complained to management, who in turn gave us 550RMB (or 50RMB per senior). Seems we were supposed to get a Senior Citizen discount. We all decided to give the money to her as part of her tip.

After lunch it was a 1-hour drive to HuangLong, a nature park that, in terms of hiking alone, made JZG National Park seem lightweight by comparison. During the climb the seniors gave up after the first kilometer, so it was up to me and Jenny to try and finish the remaining 3000 meters.

My Eleven-shot Panoramic Layout

After coming across a couple more similar looking sulfur-colored “water terraces,” waterfalls and free oxygen pit stops, eventually Jenny gave up as well, so I went on alone. If the guy w/ the limp and several other senior citizens that passed me on their way down the mountain was any indication, this should be a survivable endeavor. During my solo climb up it occurred to me that I left my wallet in the bus so if I ever need to buy some O² I’m outta luck.

Pah, O² tanks are for pussies. And what, “freezing cold?” I’m sweltering here! I managed to make it up to the Middle Temple, 3.4km above sea level. I’d have gone further but I’d already left the seniors alone for more than an hour, so I had to run downhill (so to speak) as fast as I could, Mika playing on my Muvo™ along the way. Dang if both Jenny and the Seniors weren’t where I left them.My mind was already of thinking of scenarios of how to get back w/o paying in case my bus left. Luckily I ran into Jenny and Xiao Mao, who in turn were looking for me. Xiao Mao had the Seniors wait in the bus to stave off possible hypothermia. During that hour climbing up and another hour running down, they said Pa was throwing a fit in the bus. Thankfully we still had plenty of time to catch our flight back to ChengDu.

* * *

During our 20-minute ride to the aiport Xiao Mao treated us w/ a mini-concert at a sign of gratitude. Right now we’re at our dark and gloomy gate waiting for our continuously delayed flight.

Odd Children's Book Titles

Caught Cine Europa 8pm Hungarian feature Just Sex and Nothing Else w/ Francesca. (Short review: if it was in English it would've been a so-so romantic dramedy. Who knows how Hungarians would've interpreted it.) But that's not that I'm here to talk about.

While doing our alternate restroom waits, some books on display at the kiddie section of PowerBooks caught my eye...

A pop-up book on The Titanic?!? (Historical or movie version, I wonder? Is there giant iceberg or Leonardo DiCaprio pop-up in the middle?) I'm guessing their follow-up book will be on the Hindenberg. ("With Hydrogen gas release action!")

Have your kid make her own fairy costume, with the end product resembling a prepubescent TinkerBell flesh-suit. The child labor overtones on this are just unsettling.

Dragonology? Hey, Timmy, how about a biology report on a creature that doesn't exist? I know a entire book on the subject...

Seems the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise went to entertainment venue to pseudp-science. Hey Timmy, here's a career option you can talk to the guidance councilor about.

11 Senior Citizens and 2 Adults (My China Vacation), Part 1 of 3

Boy, I hate transcribing, w/c is why it took a while for this to get blogged. This chronicles my recent trip to ChengDu, JiuZhaiGou and XiaMen, with the 'rents, my mom's friends and one of my mom's friends' niece:

Arrived at the airport “on time” as per NAIA security standards (3 hours before departure) but “too early” at the same time, as our check-in booth didn’t open ‘til an hour later. A few of the 11 senior citizens (and 1 adult, Jenny, 3 years my senior) I’m accompanying on this trip passed the time by taking turns on the digital weighing scale.

Things haven’t changed much in the departure area, in particular their high food prices. Sixty bucks for plastic bottled water? “Sweet Ideas” (the foodstand’s name) is right: Hey, these suckers can’t go outside for food! We could charge them whatever we want. What a sweet idea!

Flight from Manila to Xiamen (stopver) took 2 hours. Neglected to bring my phone and instead packed 2 digicams, 1 book and mp3 player. Xiamen International Airport looked the same as when I first came here in 2001: almost deserted. National Week-Long Holiday Hangover, I guess. Initially they had us waiting at the wrong departure gate, w/c was a hassle for those having to drag up their heavier carry-on luggage back up the flight of stairs. Slept through most of the flight.

* * *

ChengDu International Airport surprised me with it having its own shopping guide brochure, but has yet to catch up w/ the rest of the modern International Airport community by not having banned smoking. Outside we were greeted by our guide (or 导游)，Xiao Wu, who took us straight to the Holiday Inn to check in and rest a bit before heading back out for an early dinner. Our room has an amazing view of the shopping grounds out front and the promenade of the Pride Exhibition Center. To bad it was slightly obscured by the floodlights pointed at our plate glass window.

Dinner was a 12 or14-course meal (lost count since the waitresses just kept bringing out more food) of thankfully non-spicy dishes, despite ChengDu cuisine’s reputation to the contrary. Beer was a bland, though. When we got back to the HInn the Seniors had an impromptu photo session in front the glass waterfall and lily pad pond, while I walked around the promenade and took my own photos.

Xiao Wu said ChengDu is 500m above sea level, so it’d be interesting to see what’ll happen to us tomorrow when we leave for a place six times that altitude.

TUESDAY, Oct. 9, 2007

Since I shared a room w/ my folks I had to make do w/ the extra army cot the Holiday Inn provided, w/c provided me a not-so-good night’s sleep. It also didn’t help that Pa snored so loud that zombies were probably driven back to their graves.

Really? No need for a meal stub? I can head straight for the buffet? Righteous.

An hour after our breakfast we hopped on the bus. Xiao Wu said a couple of towels were missing from our room (not guilty), but she took care of it quickly and quietly later. (I just took the keycard.) Instead of the scheduled city tour and late afternoon flight to JiuZhaiGou, Xiao Wu instead took us to see pandas and booked an earlier flight for us.

When we got to the Panda Nursery and Conservation Center the Seniors opted for the golf cart ride instead of walking through the drizzling rain. The nursery (at least the one presented to the public) looked like a decrepit room from the PGH, only w/ baby pandas in the crib instead of human ones. From across the viewing windows there were monitors attached high up on the walls, where you can catch a grainy CCTV video of pandas in cages looking like tortured POWs. Or perhaps they were just sleeping. Still, wasn’t allowed to take pictures of this. Instead I shot videos of giant pandas and red pandas; w/c looked like a cross between a fox and a raccoon. (“Faccoons?”)

Lunch wasn’t as good as last night’s dinner, but their Snow brand beer had more kick (speaking as a layman, btw, not a connoisseur). Afterwards we headed straight for the airport to catch the 4PM flight. Our departure gate looked like it was designed by hardcore North Koreans, owing to the lack of color and bleak feel.

* * *

From the minute we arrived in JiuZhai my temples throbbed, I felt nauseous and short of breath. At first I thought it was from the rickety way the plane landed, but more likely my body was adjusting to the lack of oxygen in the area. The idiotic thing about all this was that we all felt woozy, but when our 导游 Xiao Mao asked if we were feeling any ill-effects none of us said a word. Guess all of us were in doubt.

JiuZhai Paradise International Resort (supposedly bought by the Hotel Intercontinental Group) looked expensive from the get-go. The Lamborghini displayed out front (available for rent, along w/ a Bently and a Hummer) certainly cried out for attention. And it was huge. The main lobby was encased in a large oval plexiglass dome that unsuccessfully kept out the cold. A “bidome” housing restaurants, bars, spas and shops accented w/ a Tibetan and Qiang motif. Their in-house tv channel boasts “five-star like” service, w/c is accurate. Feeling 5-star lang, as they cut corners w/ the furniture design (prop drawer handles?), while the buffet left much to be desired.

For the most part the place was picturesque, so I took a lot of pictures. Our rooms were classy to look at (sunken living room, to boot), but I still had to sleep on an army cot. Right shoulder’s killing me.

My Petition Against Kevin Nadal

Done as a way to vent, but hopefully it'll pick up steam. Sign here. Read below.

Filipinos Request Apology from Kevin Nadal
for Making Fil-Ams Look Bad

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View Current Signatures - Sign the Petition

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To: ABC Corporation and Kevin Nadal

We are writing to express concern and bewilderment about Kevin Nadal, a man w/ a serious lack of a sense of humor about the comment made in an episode of Desperate Housewives on 9/30/07. I think you know which one by now.

As members of the Filipino community who can actually take a joke, we are writing to inform you that this type of remark, while seen by some as discriminatory and hurtful, was ok with us, since we know you didn't mean any harm, nor was it said in malice. If anything it stayed true to form in showing Terri Hatcher's character Susan Myer's insecurity through ignorance.

Now while there are a overwhelming number of good and talented Filipinos out there, be it doctors or otherwise, take it from us: we're not all saints.* For every Lea Salonga and Manny Pacquiao we produce there's a Ferdinand Marcos and Leandro Aragoncillo standing by their side.

Filipinos are known around the world for our hospitality. What isn't as well known is our ability to see humor in times of distress and to laugh at ourselves when no-one else would. We believe Mr. Nadal's actions have done more harm than good. He's making it look like Filipino Americans can't take a joke, even one that wasn't that funny.

We also believe Mr. Nadal is not aware that Desperate Housewives is satire presented as soap opera. And fictional. And not subject to scrutiny in terms of factual information about how the world works, much less to take seriously a throwaway line one of its title characters said about a country she's probably never visited.

As Filipinos, we band together to ensure that Mr. Nadal's petition does not reflect the views of all Filipino-Americans, despite news to the contrary. It is ridiculous that this petition was made the headliner by arguably the biggest media-news outlet in the Philippines, blown completely out of proportion and now taken seriously by ABC itself. Ironically this media-news outlet's local sister channel carries Desperate Housewives in its foreign programming lineup.

Hateful messages and unfunny jokes are a part of Free Speech, something I believe Americans cherish. They should be allowed to continue, otherwise how can we distinguish between them and the truthful messages and funny jokes? To quote Avenue Q: Everyone's a little bit racist, it's true. But everyone is just about as racist as you! If we all could just admit, that we are racist a little bit, and everyone stopped being so PC, maybe we could live in harmony!

TO KEVIN NADAL: We request (not demand, because we're hospitable) a public apology to the Filipino community for making us look, to coin a local term, "balat sibuyas," or thin-skinned. And we suggest (not demand) that you take your head out of your butt (figuratively) and learn to use the remote control of your television, specifically the button that allows you to change the channel when you don't like what you're seeing or hearing what's on the screen.

Sincerely,

*Really, we only have one Filipino saint: Lorenzo Ruiz.

Sincerely,

The Undersigned

Rat-a-poo-ie

Just came back from tossing a dead rat into the garbage can downstairs.

The thing had been taunting us for days now. Tonight I saw it perched up the tree where our birdcage hung. Insecticide didn't work (spur of the moment action), so I got out the flypaper, w/c usually only worked w/ mice, but I was curious to see how it would handle something slightly bigger than a kitten.

Later Ma saw the rat come into the house. Pa and the security guard played cat to its bigger-and-uglier mouse, tapping away on the marble floor w/ an old PVC pipe and mop handle in an attempt to flush it out, but to no avail. In the end we thought it probably got out again, alive to irritate us another day.

The rest of the evening was uneventful, save for the To Be Continued that flashed across the TV screen at the of the 3rd season premiere of The Unit (best guy show ever!). Then something skittered across the floor in front of the office where I was watching My Name is Earl. Damn thing was still in the house after all.

I sprung into action, closing all doors (save for the one where I placed the flypaper) and barricaded the hallway leading to the kitchen. The latter action saved me a lot of chase time as the rat was unable to go around it. Back and forth across the living room we went, the rat skittering and me trying to get at it w/ the PVC pipe. A moment of ultimate frustration came over me when I saw it go through the narrow opening where the end of the sliding screen and glass doors and the wall met. DAMMIT SHIT DAMMIT not again, I thought. I kept poking around near the screen door. It hadn't gone all the way through! The rat was still between the screen door and the wall!

Thinking fast (or not thinking at all), I pushed the sliding screen door back to the wall to trap the rat. Whether my crushing it w/ the sliding doors or the subsequent bashing of its head w/ the PVC pipe finished it off, I really can't tell. Suffice to say I would've preferred the flypaper-smothering technique. (Newspapers and the PVC pipe proved mighty handy in disposing the body, though.)

It occurred to me that this was exactly how I killed my last rat. (Argh, why do all my successful rat kills have to this bloody? ) It also occurred to me that I should've taken a picture of the "crime scene" before I tossed out the rat for better graphic effect. Now all I have are pix of a bloody marble floor and screen door.

Honestly, I could think of way better ways to spend the evening after watching several hours of DLoaded TV.

The Evening in Haiku

Chinese seafood place
Sy Association night
dinner and raffle.

Typical Chinese
food made me glad I had a
sandwich earlier.

New officers
sang the National Anthem.
(Face us or the flag?)

Johnny Walker was
being passed along tables.
God, I wish I drank.

I was bored to tears,
but fortunately I then
won eight hundred bucks!

My parents and my
uncle, on the other hand,
didn't win diddly.

And now a final
observation for this night.
(Moon cake door prizes!)

Old man had a mole
at the corner of his lip.
It looked malignant.

No, wait. My mistake.
It was just the tip of his
tongue sticking out. (Ew.)

Weird Sight(s) of the Day

Of all the times to have a WSOTD entry w/o pictures to accompany it. Anyhoo...

• I saw a homeless kid --sporting only a T-shirt and briefs but riding the latter up to his butt like a pseudo T-thong-- shaking his skinny booty at the front office window of a bottled water refilling station, much to the irritation or indifference of the guy who was busy filling up (or cleaning) those huge water cooler jugs. I couldn't really interpret the guy's reaction (since I was just passing by in a moving vehicle), but the kid was definitely enjoying himself.

• In the midst of the rainy season a construction worker (for some reason they're never as busy in the dry season as they are in the wet ones) put his leg over one handle of the jackhammer he was using, presumably attempting to use his body weight to push the thing further into the concrete street. Couldn't they have just hired a bigger guy to operate the thing? This man probably uses his teeth to crack crab shells while eating them. (Last time I did that I chipped a molar.)

10 Thoughts on Avenue Q

Caught this show at RCBC Plaza w/ Cheryl. Would have taken pictures but both she and the play's production crew were camera-shy. While the latter had more legal grounds to be as such, the excuse of the former--while being a lawyer herself-- was a bit flimsy. And why give away flavored bottled water at the entrance while forbidding food and drinks to be brought inside?

• In hindsight I shouldn't have listened to the official soundtrack before watching the musical, as I was unable to bask in the freshness of the jokes, nor unable to laugh as hard as the rest of the audience upon hearing them.
• And maybe it was just me or my view from the balcony, but I was having trouble separating the puppet from the performer. Maybe that was the point (with performers emphasizing facial expressions the puppets are unable to), maybe not (some of the cast performing dual puppet roles onstage). I do agree w/ Rachel Alejandro's casting as Kate Monster and Lucy the Slut, as her wide vocal range was needed to pull of the role. On the other hand there were times Felix Rivera and Rycharde Everley were slipping into their respective Tagalog and British accents. Ah, what the hell. They were supposed to be in New York, anyway, melting pot and all.
  
• The Bert N Ernie gay analogy was out in half-full force w/ Ricky and Rod. I say half because only one of them was homosexual. Too bad Rod look more like Guy Smiley w/ glasses.
• I understand the reason for casting Aiza Seguerra as Gary Coleman. But height notwithstanding, she manages to capture the voice of Gary as a parody of himself, accent and all, w/ the slightest touch of Wanda Sykes. Just wish they found a red-n-blue striped sweater for her to wear underneath that Dutch Boy jumpsuit.
• Judging by audience reaction, nothing gets people howling more that a puppet simulating masturbation. Even more than simulated puppet sex.
• Kate Monster got the best lines ("Is her name... Purpose?"), while the Bad Idea Bears reminded me of Fluffy and Uranus, 2 also annoyingly creepy/cuddly bears who were freqently mutilated by their boss Duckman (another adult cartoon gem). ("Take her home!" "She's wasted!")
• Christmas Eve (played by Frenchie Dy by way of MadTV's Miss Swan) is wearing Crocs!
• Audience Participation came w/ The Money Song, when the cast went to ask for spare change from the people in the orchestra section. Good thing nobody came up the balcony. (Hello!? If we had extra cash we woulda paid for orchestra seats.)
• Nice the see the play's ending didn't go where I expected it. BA in English guy was a complete red herring.
• Shell out the extra dough instead of sticking it out in the P500 nosebleed section. Cheapskate and slowpoke that I am I only managed to get balcony seats for the last row. The balcony railings (and audience members on the first 2 rows) obscured my view of the stage the spotlight guy distracted us w/ his taking directions (from I'm assuming the technical director). It was the equivalent of watching a CAM copy of a movie. (Downloaders would know what I'm talking about.)
  

Side note: If I wanted a "name" cast for the musical I'd get the folks from Clueless. Imagine Paul Rudd as Princeton, Alicia Silverstone as Kate Monster, Stacey Dash as Gary Coleman, etc. Amy Heckerling, gimme a call.

The Road to Health is Paved w/ High Fiber

Did not have any rice today. Breakfast: Oatmeal and a tuna spread sandwich (own recipe). Lunch: Diced beef and pechay stir-fried w/ olive oil (own recipe). Snack: Lily's peanut butter sandwich. Dinner: Chicken and microwaved scrambled egg sandwich. All sandwiches used hi-fiber wheatbread. Worked out before dinner, and had 10 fibre capsules (5 each for 2 of the meals).

Imagine doing that 7 times a week. If I still end up getting cancer or a heart attack I'm gonna be mighty pissed.

Catching Up (Yet Again)

I felt like kicking myself for not taking full advantage of last week when the 'rents were off vacationing in Hong Kong. Didn't go out as much as I wanted, but instead made use of the new DVD player Ma won in a raffle (1 of 2 units, as well as a cordless phone). It had Divx, Xvid playback and .srt/.sub subtitle reading capabilities, as well as a USB port where I could plug in my Creative Muvo mp3 player like a flash drive. So now I can watch my downloaded movies on a normal television screen and lay on the couch while doing so.

On Friday I watched a "Concert for the Environment" at Le Pavillon sponsored by Cemex, featuring Fat Session (bad pun), Noel Cabangon (Joey Ayala lite), Kjwan (the J is silent) and The Dawn (bastards didn't even sing Enveloped Ideas). W/ me were Aissa, Raymond, Bebot, Rona (Dale Carnegie classmate) and her officemate Rhea. I'm not exactly sure what "environmentally friendly cement" is or how being sold in plastic bags isn't contradictory to that claim, but then again I was only there for the concert and grub.

Cocktail food, pasta and drinks were more than abundant (only had 1 SanMig Light, tho'), but all that beer and red wine still couldn't release the inhibitions of some of the corporate crowd that attended. Well, I never thought rock bands and suits mixed, much less rock concerts and plastic garden chairs. Fat Session run the gamut of covers, bookending the show by practically singing the entire Chorus Girls playlist and various disco/dance numbers. Former President and First Lady Ramos were in attendance, and man, did they grab attention of the rest of the VIPs (as well as the media), much to the chagrin of the band Kjwan, who was in the middle of a song number that went out to the quickly-emptied seats of the first 3 rows. All in all a okay show. Rons and Rhea even got to take home some penne bolagnese.

Saturday I went to the Book Expo w/ Goldy. Ran into Jan (who returned my DVDs), Lola (at the NBS booth where I bought Vol. 10 of 100 Bullets and where they where selling a copy of Absolute Sandman 175 bucks cheaper than when I bought it), Blessed and Marlene, who by coinkydink knew Goldy and tried to pry about whether we were an item or whatever. Far be it for me to share information on something even I wasn't sure of, so I didn't. wink wink nudge nudge. Had Japanese for dinner, Starbucks for dessert and their free bags of coffee ground ("for your garden") for souvenirs. When I got home the 'rents had arrived. They got what I asked for: at pair of wireless headphones (Logitech)! Bluetooth tech rocks!