10 Thoughts on Ace Water Spa (Not the Movie)

Hmm, plastic foliage...

Went with my brother, sis-in-law and all nephews and nieces to kill the late-afternoon-to-early-evening hours. My first Philippine spa visit. Ever, be it wet or dry.

1. While they make you leave whatever footwear you came in (even slippers) at the front desk of the locker, the facilities aren't bad. Showers use liquid instead of regular bath soap, w/c sucks since they don't provide loofahs for them.
2. Ah, swimcaps: the great equalizer for balding men using the pool.
3. We started at the Lazy River, where a semi-strong current drags your lazy ass around the water spa's perimeter (provided you're using their styro-board or inner tube), encountering both misty and hard showers along the way.
4. While the Cold Water Pool lived up to its name, I really wanted to try out their Hot Herbal Pools (Say that w/ a Cockney accent; it's really funny. Awt erbal puhls, guvnah?). Set in 3 different colors and temperature settings, it felt like I was dipping myself in large pools of tea. At the edge of the pools were "cold pillows:" stainless steel pipes generating cold for you to rest on head on while you concentrate on not farting underwater.
5. The sauna and steam rooms still haven't differed from the first time I tried them in JiuZhaiGou, namely, why folks in Finland like the feeling of being steam-cooked is beyond me.
6. Other water facilities felt like amusement park gimmicks, like the eight nozzle shower or the dunk-yourself-w/-a-wooden-bucket area. I noticed the latter had a float ball in the bucket, like the ones you see in toilet tanks, w/c made this imagery slightly disturbing.
   
7. My favorite water massage came from Rainfall Acupuncture. Lying on my stomach while being bombarded w/ high pressure water, I couldn't even lift my legs. Too bad I also couldn't fully rest my head down, since I might drown in inch-deep chlorinated water.
8. The other jet massages weren't as pleasant, since it felt like most of them were trying to force water up my butt. Hmm, they oughtta hand out nose/ear/butt plugs before getting into those pools.
9. On the other hand, the bubble massages were a pleasant experience, just pushing up your butt instead of performing an unwanted enema. It got so foamy at times I thought someone mixed liquid detergent in the pool.
10. They gave us coupons for free soup afterwards, but they ran out of corn and served us Nido soup, instead. Wonder how many packets of Knorr Chinese soup mix they go through in a day?