Ondoy and Under (or, What a Floody Web We Weave...)

All things considered, my family was really lucky during the stormy weekend 48 hours past.

I was about to get the answer to a crucial question (How do you pronounce "Canaan?") when we lost power around 1:30PM Saturday, and it only came back around 6:30PM Sunday. (Sorry for the delay, Flixster Soulmate.) After that it was howling winds, leaky walls and a rainy afternoon.

That night (after using the remaining daylight to catch up on my reading), we were witness to Mother Nature's sense of Irony when an electical fire broke out at the neighboring shanty area 2 blocks from our house. (Oh, now the rains stop and winds pick up.) From my bedroom window I saw the fire raze westward and peppered w/ explosions (probably propane tanks or electric appliances). Looks were deceiving as the fire looked closer than it really was, prompting Aissa's paranoia to get our essential files and folders out of the steel cabinet and ready for moving. Firetrucks had trouble getting to the fire because some idiots decided to avoid the flooded streets by parking and leaving their vehicles in the middle of my street, effectively roadblocking it.

I killed time chatting w/ Eileen on the phone til' one in the morning.

Come next morning we were still w/o power (we'd only see the magnitude of the damage the day after online), and not having showered for over 24 hours I was feeling... sticky. Ma still managed to get to Makati to have her hair and makeup done, since the 'rents had a wedding to attend in the afternoon. I joined them afterward for the evening reception (yes, after bathing).

When we got to Makati Shang you'd think no-one had gone thru hell and high water (literally) to get here. Amidst RJ Ledesma's emceening (man, that guy's loud... why bother w/ the microphone) I saw a familiar face at Table 40, and my mind raced the entire evening figuring out who she was. Turns out it was Krishna from DLSU Englicom days, and to prove how small the Tsinoy world is, her dad and my mom turned out to be classmates in high school. Also ran into Ad Extremian Tracy Lim's sister Vanessa and her husband. While her voice hasn't changed, her hair grew. A lot.

*Sad Postscript: Words won't do justice to the level of sadness you can't help but feel when going through these pictures. (And speaking of sad, how is it Facebook has better photo coverage of Typhoon Ondoy than actual news media organizations?).

Imagine 2-meter high MMDA pink fences along SM Centerpoint riddled w/ torn plastic bags, giving you a clue as to how high the floodwaters were that day. Cars vertically piled in twos or threes after being washed into that position by strong currents. Beds and refrigerators ending up on high electric power lines, w/c were also being climbed on by people avoiding the currents. The lower half of 2-storey houes caked in mud. Road underpasses under water. People almost drowning trying to save their Sto. Nino statues.

Makes not having water nor electricity but at least high and dry seem frivilous, doesn't it?

Wedding Addendum (or Weddendum)

More details on my cousin's wedding last Sunday:

My other cousin Aissa (and my sister to some extent) was all giddy upon hearing that morning FM radio hosts Chico & Delamar were emceeing. Too bad for them that the program was more AVP/guest centric, so their fans didn't get to hear them say much except during the quiz portion.

Super-long AVPs are the bane of my wedding reception experience. If the goal was to have something to play in the background while the waiters served dinner, bravo, they succeeded. Otherwise, I get it: Baby pix, kid pix, jump-like-Jesus'-bible-bio-straight-to-adulthood pix, couple-pix. Continuity is fine. It's the length I have issues with. (Do you really need 3 songs to tell an already truncated version of your biography? I guarantee just one will tell and leave an impression just as effectively. It's like there'll be quiz afterwards.)

On the other hand, movie trailer-like on-site AVPs I adore. Michael Bay-ish sweeping pan shots are getting tiresome, though.

Aside from the string band they had an acapella group glee away the time while dinner went on. The highlight of the evening's entertainment was probably a performance by Johann's dad's Philippine Argentine Tango group (of w/c he's president or chairman). I half expected them to use Por Una Cabeza (aka tango number from Scent of a Woman and True Lies), but no, they went w/ something longer and more obscure. That said, everyone in the ballroom stopped in their tracks to watch.

Ran into a number of Ad Extremians, including now-published author Junius Yu. I joked w/ Melissa Tong how buti pa si Junius may libro na, while the two of us were blogging for bupkis. Tim Yap was also there, sporting a tiny tie, w/c Melissa guessed was left over from our 6th grade graduation period.

Matrimonial Non-Sequitors

My cousin got married last weekend. And a coupla days before that I met up w/ a girl my mom's cousin was trying to set me up with and w/ whom I've been corresponding lately.

(And now the details:)

She works as an on-board translator for our nation's flag-carrier in the skies. And she goes to the gym. And she looks cute, as her amateur modeling photos online would attest. After chatting and texting for the past couple of weeks we decided to meet up at the Book Expo at SMX (Convenient coinkydink, shut up.) After making the rounds (separately) on what was again another mediocre literary affair (no reflection on you, Lola), she bought a book but wouldn't tell me nor Lols the title. Weird.

We went for coffee and tea at CB&TL. And there it all began to unravel further.

While we got along better online, she seemed perturbed at some of my sincere questions about her work. (Because really, I'm curious what a not-quite-a-flight-attendant does when she's in the air for 3 hours on route to China, stays on the plane for the next 2, caps it off w/ another 3 hours on the flight back.) Her facial expressions seemed to connote a "Well, DUH, what else can you do but your job" message. Lovely.

Change subject.

I asked her about her singing experience because I saw pix of her recording an album w/ some Fil-Chi youth league, but she seemed to deny it happened, much less knew what I was talking about. I was thinking, seriously? But this was on your Facebook album.

Change subject.

Where do u go to gym? Fitness first, really? What do you get w/ your membership? Again, sincere question (I go to Slimmers). Again, that "Well, DUH" look on her face. The coffee meet was turning into a Mars-Venus First Contact scenario.

Mebbe she didn't like taking about her job, but after the meeting I've not seen her online since. Must be leaving. On a jet plane.

Now the reason I placed a picture of my cousin Eliza (COINCIDENCE, SHADDAP) and her new husband Johannes wedding reception at the Sofitel Ballroom (that's them on the projector screen, middle right), was because it's nice to know that at least somebody else I know had a nice meeting pay off for them this week.

Jehan, we are now cousins. Sort of. No, I insist.

To CineEuropa 12 Organizers*:

*Come to think of it, to all those organizing free film screenings for the general public:

If all you'll do is have people wait in long lines for long hours only to have a DVD movie projected unto a 40-foot screen, w/o any regard to diminished picture quality (or the DVD skipping), I'd sooner just download the freaking films and watch 'em in my living room. FOR FREE. AND NOT EVEN PAY FOR PARKING.

Mediocre Movie Weekend

Last week was better, when Lola and I caught District 9. It's up there w/ Star Trek in terms of great sci-fi films, only the shaky camera movements in D9 had me wishing that I took some Bonamine beforehand. By comparison Cloverfield looked like it was shot w/ a tripod.

Nope, this week after giving my brain a rest from watching Sir David Attenborough's documentary series Planet Earth in gorgeous HD, I finally caught up w/ some older flix, but after watching them wished I never bothered getting them in 720p:

Steet Kings. There's 105 minutes of my life I could've used on Yoga had I known this badly-dialogued, poorly plotted pointless flick ended the way it did. Really should've done IMDB research. Sure, I recognized most of the supporting cast (hey, it's Aidan from SATC, Sucre from Prison Break, Dr. House and The Human Torch!), but the screenwriter also wrote Ultraviolet, Equilibrium and The Thomas Crown Affair remake. Also bleh films w/ big-name stars.

Hellboy 2: The Golden Army. I'm sorry for not listening to Lola when she said this film was bad. The first scene in B.P.R.D. headquarters made me wince and weary for the rest of the cast. Save for the fight scenes, colorful set pieces, Doug Jones' hand-acting (though if you pay too much attention to his fingers it can get distracting) and "glasshole" Johan Krauss (voiced by Family Guy's Seth MacFarlane), the story wasn't all that compelling. Hellboy is basically a bully, casually killing off characters like Tim Burton's Batman. That said, I never really liked the Hellboy comic (the B.P.R.D. spinoff series are a much better read), so I shouldn't be surprised the movie adaptations never caught my interest.

Final Week Winddown

I don't think I've ever been as busy socially as I was this last week of August. Hell, this year, even. On w/ the summarizing:

Aug. 26: Met up w/ Lyndon for one last hurrah dinner at Arya in Greenhills, where we were joined by his old officemate Amie, and later on David Lee and 'Orie Tong. Dennis Choi caught up in time for dessert of complimentary sliced watermelon. Robin Padilla (accompanied by Claire de la Fuente and friends) was also eating there when we arrived. Since David knew Arya's owner Shin Karami, he asked him to ask Robin (after we all finished eating, of course) to humor some of us starstruck (read: Amie) patrons for some pictures w/ him. Cool dude that he is he obliged. The picture on the upper left is dedicated to the Beijinoy Spice Boys.

Aug. 27: Met up w/ Dee at MoA to catch a screening of UP in 3D. After watching it I was convinced that my only hope in seeing 3D put to good use as a storytelling tool lay in Coraline, because as w/ Disney's previous CGI movie Bolt, it added nothing to this movie. I should've trusted Pixar to just deliver the goods as always and tell an entertaining story w/ memorable characters, w/o having to ask the audience to wear special glasses to enjoy them. So far the current 3D selection leaves much to be desired... like a good movie, period. We finished the evening w/ Subway melt sandwiches.

Aug. 28: Carpooled w/ Di, Tin and Pei in heavy rain and traffic until we reached Aubergine Restaurant in Bonifacio Global City for the First birthday party/dinner of Dada and Derwin's son Daeron. When we finally got there my lower back felt like it was compressed by 3 discs. Don't think that back-support thingie is working right, and it doesn't even have moving parts.

Dinner was buffet, and I tasted foie gras for the first time (tender). Chavit Singson was in attendance, this time w/o Manny Pacquiao next to him having the lobster tail w/ spinach. As for the other party guests, they seemed to be composed of either family members or yuppie newlyweds, w/the wives looking hotter and younger (but no less pregnant). Baby Daeron was denfinitely up way past his bedtime.

The evening ended on a dull note, because the traffic we encountered getting here persisted when we left. Worse, traffic lights were kaput along Makati and Rizal Avenue, so we (sans Di because she carpooled w/ David Lee, but got lost on the same route I did w/ The Contessa some time ago) were stuck for quite a bit. More dull back pain, and of all the times not to bring the Zen and only 1 CD (Chage & Aska Uplugged) instead. Must be bad karma for my leaving the car engine running the whole time it was parked while we are at the party. Next to having the spare keys hanging on the antenna while I went shopping, this was definitely the most boneheaded, absentminded thing I've ever done w/ the car.

Aug. 29: We had a mini-reunion for the Palawan Wedding Group (not a real group) at Angel's Kitchen restaurant in Greenhills. Di went w/ me and when we arrived Pei, Tin, Jazz and Kurt were already having complimentary bread and flavored butter. The house water was placed in intricate glass bottles, so I checked to make sure they weren't serving us gin. Mira and Bong joined us midway though the main course. Last night's heavy rains made a repeat performance, forcing me to cancel my last-full-show movie plans w/ Lola.

But it was just as well, because after dinner we carpooled (boy, that GM Tahoe was spacious) to Moksha Bar on Wilson Street, where I had my first taste of Sangria (suggested by Pei, and it had a slushy, fruity ice flavor). At first I ordered a Nutty Irishman (suggested by Kurt), but it never came. The guys were convinced that the bartender didn't really know how to make it and the bar just came up w/ the names using random words written on strips of paper and stuck them on a dartboard.

To cap off our drink-on, Pei and Kurt treated us to what I think was a Kahlua cockroach, or whatever other shot of liquor that needed to be set fire first before sucking it out w/ a straw (and preferably quickly before the straw melts). My bid for a fancy picture almost went up in flames (literally) as I picked up my K-Cockroach and spilled some of the flaming liquid on my hand. At least now I could relate to Ken's earlier story of a similar incident w/ a similar drink. It the end it wouldn't have worked coz' the flash from the camera canceled out the blue flames rising from the shotglasses.

Aug. 10, 2009: Palawan, Da-- JESUS CHRIST, THERE'S A STARFISH ON MY FACE!!!

As almost everyone else is taking a morning PAL flight back to Manila, Yours Cheaply is flying out the same way he flew in via ZestAir, albeit on a 5:15PM flight. With one whole morning and mid-afternoon to kill, I was invited to join some of the remaining guests (all from Pei's side) for some scuba diving or snorkeling at Honda Bay. While I'm out of the city TinTin's dad was kind enough to get my plane ticket and check in my luggage, since Legend Hotel discontinued that courtesy for some reason.

Upon arrival at Honda Bay I opted to join the snokel group (me, Mira and her family), since my last scuba dive was almost 3 years ago, not to mention I'm too cheap to rent the necessary equipment. Besides, the rental guys were already squeezing them dry w/ the boats and moving of the oxygen tanks. Also, it seemed every stop we made cost 50 bucks. We took separate boats, and ours took us to a hut in the middle of the ocean, situated near a coral bed. We took turns w/ the snorkeling so Mira and I went off first. Mira had the advantage of being pulled along by our guide, while I swam behind her to follow.

As underwater activities go, snorkeling's overrated. My brain was multitasking w/ the obvious (don't die), the aesthetic (check out those coral and the fishies) and the logistical (don't lose track of Mira and the guide). Needless to say I ended up having to blowhole a good amount of saltwater out of my snorkel. Being a cloudy day, there was also insufficient sunlight to break through the ocean murk. After we got back to the hut it was Mira's husband's turn to check out the sea-sights.

Afterwards the boat took us to Starfish Island, whose course white sand (and numerous sea pebbles) made for some uncomfortable barefoot walking. Here I got to see my first live starfish in its natural habitat (i.e. not in SeaWorld). The scuba group caught up w/ us just was we were poking at a beached jellyfish and taking seeming risque pictures w/ the starfish.

I also collected (but left behind) a bunch of what I thought where starfish eggshells or what Pei said were sea urchin eggshells, but after some wikipeding it turns out they were sand dollars.

On our last island stop my chance to eat fresh grilled seafood was cut short as I had to go back to the city w/ the scuba group so I could make my flight. Made it w/ time to spare (since I had to change from my swimtrunks), but I was almost held back because I was short 10 freakin' bucks for the P40 terminal fee and not a single vendor in the airport could split 500 pesos. And after a brief snafu w/ my pasalubong bag full of cashews (left it by the terminal fee table while looking to change my bill, where it was mistakenly picked up by airport personnel who thought a lady who already went in left it behind), the lady at the table finally gave me a break and let me though. When I arrived in Manila karma turned its wheel when after I paid to hire a airport taxi (Ma needed the car), my change was short by 10 bucks. Stingily enough I didn't say argue on it, but the guy managed to get me my remaning change. In my defense, there's a big diff between 40 and 650 bucks.

Aug. 9, 2009: Palawan, Day 3

Late to bed, early to rise, off to see the Hundred Isles. (Acutally it was the subterranean caves, but that didn't rhyme.)

After almost being 欺骗ed at the local Chicken Inato on our breakfast bill (to the staff: don't present a menu w/ "in-house" prices then later attempt to charge us extra for not being hotel guests), we shuttle-vanned to our motorized boats and headed for the Puerto Princesa Subterranean River National Park. Once ashore (note: Crocs sandals w/ Velcro straps and seawater don't mix) we had a brief trek before reaching the entrance to the cave, even encountering monkeys and small Komodo dragons along the way. Luckily we made it just before the boatmen were off to take their lunch break.

After donning the hardhats and smelly life-vests, we hopped on the boats --8 at a time-- to be paddled into the "Bat Cave" by Kuya Jun-Jun. Manol sat port bow to handle our big flashlight while I sat aft for picture-taking duties. I'm guessing having indivual lamps attached to the hats would've proved expensive and impractical, as every time you turned your head you risk blinding your companions. As such the inside of the cave was enveloped in blackness, and the only natural sounds were made by birds and water droplets from the ceiling. At least you hope it was water and not bats or birds crapping on you.

Kuya Jun Jun's eloquence in describing scientific and historical data on the cave wasn't so much marred by broken English as it was by his heavy accent. Just his luck the one foreign language he didn't have any familiar phrases to throw at us was Thai. On our way into the cave he shouted to his fellow boatman (who was exciting the cave w/ his charges) that his group was Ong Baks. At least the movie reference wasn't bad.

Everything inside felt damp (as opposed to humid), and the air had a strange odor, but it wasn't guano, thankfully. One interesting fact I learned was the krrtt rtt sounds often heard in the caves were actually being made by swallows for echolocation, not bats, as the latter would do it w/ ultrasonics, w/c humans can't hear. Almost every picture I took of the cave ceiling crevices had lots of small bats staring back at me, their guano streaming the walls like chocolate ripple on a marbled icing cake. (Mmm, digustingly tasty...)

Many of the rock formations were left

to the imagination as to how to describe them, be it the "Dinosaur," the Mama Mary, or even a somewhat prerequisite "Jesus Face." (At least it wasn't on a piece of toast this time.) We also saw a snake or two. The whole trip took 45 minutes, and you don't get to see the other end of the cave, at that would drag the boat into much stronger currents that head straight to the South China Sea. After we walked back to shore we had sandwiches for lunch, where I had peanut butter before finding (and missed out on) they brought cheeseburgers, too.

A bunch of us headed back to the city, while the group I was with decided to stay a little longer and hang out at the beach. Sand wasn't Boracay quality, but nice, nonetheless. The Thai group ordered beer and noodles, and even befriended a labrador that decided to hang out and sleep by our table. On our way back to the van I spotted a "hermaphrodog" Manol said he saw earlier, w/c made for a definitely weird endcap to My Day On the Beach.

Once we got back to the city we had less than an hour to freshen up before we were again whisked away for our big seafood dinner at the restaurant by the shore. Despite our rush we missed seeing the sunset by a hair. We had to fill up on the food as the Thai group were preparing to take us out for drinks afterwards, and we needed something to absorb all that alcohol.

At the bar/restaurant ((where Tan siblings Tiffany, Tammy and Earl joined us afterwards) I had my first taste of SanMig Premium, w/c differentiates itself from the original Pale Pilsen by the extra ingredient of hop (whatever that is). The Thais brought the Patron and a bottle of Johnny Walker, of which I also took my one (and only) shot. It was like drinking liquid plastic. Aside from billiards, drinking games and eating what looked (and tasted like) squid guts, a portion of the evening was also spent discussing Jazz's "lifestyle," w/ the big distinction between being gay and a "woman trapped in a man's body" being laid out (he/she's the latter).

As the drinking winded down some of us went to Tiffany's "family disco," w/c was located on the top floor of the Ram Tan building. The green laser light setup really spruced things up, but the real "highlight" were some of the dancing patrons, including an old lady that could give pre-Idol Paula Abdul a run for her money, and a skinny dude that danced in front of the wall-mounted electric fan in some weird attempt to keep himself from sweating up a storm. All of us managed to cut the rug as well, w/ brief Gatorade breaks for recharging. If honor of the late MJ Manol had the DJ play Billy Jean and Thriller. And just when I thought we were finally ready to call it a night (at least Manol did), the Tan sisters brought us to a local diner for some Pho noodles. They tasted sweet, almost as if these rice noodles were in mid-transformation from starch to sugar while drowning in pork stock. Some of their friends joined up halfway, where one of them traded sexual come-ons (and put downs) and did the David Blaine cigarette ash trick w/ Jazz. The former she "won," while the latter "got" her. Guess she didn't watch that "Street Magician's Secrets Revealed" TV special a few years back.

Aug. 8, 2009: Palawan, Day 2

Ah, the lovely non-rainy weather. When I first arrived in Palawan the driver who picked me up from the airport said that unlike wet and rainy Manila, Puerto Princesa had been experiencing warm, rain-free skies for the past 4 days. Not that I'm complaining, but holy crap a little breeze couldn't hurt. (Wait, that is complaining.)

This was probably the wedding where I hung out the longest w/ the bride while she (and everyone else) was having their hair and makeup done. (Hell, I never loitered this long for my sister's wedding.) I think it was because the thought of staying in my tiny hotel room to wait out the next several hours (w/ next-to-no lunch options) until the church wedding had significantly less appeal. Good thing I went along w/ Diana when I did, otherwise I never would've met cool guests like Pei's co-workers Mira and Marie, nor taste Chicken Inato for the first time.

So the day was spent in the Asturias Hotel, where 3 rooms were rented out: one for the ladies, one for the gents and one for the guests, period. I was surprised to see Achi's SJCS classmate Rowena Tan (and made a major faux pas of asking her about her sister, whom I thought was BoiT's old classmate Kimmy, but turns out wasn't, and real sister passed away some time ago). Turns out her family's related to Tin's. Her two youngest daughters were in tow as flower girls, and they were grateful for me helping alleviate their boredom, as their cable tv was one the fritz and I just happened to bring along my portable DVD player and my Season 1 (and 5 eps of Season 2) DVD of Chowder, whom Mommy Wena did not know from Schnitzel.

I mentioned the weather earlier because Manol and I were fortunate enough to have brought our Barong Tagalogs, while everyone else in the wedding entourage had to wear a suit and tie. It didn't help that the church we went to either was running on weak generators or all those blue-tinted windows it had didn't provide adequate ventilation. All in all it was HOT, as if we were attending a wedding while being microwaved. Earlier we made it a point to sit near the doors where a cool breeze was blowing in, or cheat like Marie when readjusted the electric fan's swivel so it'd blow on their pew instead of ours.


Other memorable moments included Tiffany Tan trying not to cry while taking pix of her cousin walking down the aisle, the bridesmaids having trouble kneeling because of the way their dresses were made, and the priest getting away w/ not having to pronounce Pei's last name and just introduced Pei and Tin to the church audience as "The newly wedded couple."

As for the evening reception back at the Asturias, well, it definitely could have gone better, logistics-wise. But when your wedding coordinator's last job was as an assistant(?) coach to the local high school's basketball team, my confidence level on her performance should have been as low as my expectations. Thankfully Manol's turn on the emcee mike proved that you don't need flashy games nor long-winding speeches for wedding AVPs. Just be entertaining, and any material will seem like gold. Am taking lessons from this man.

Wena's kids pestered me all evening about catching the doves the newlyweds released. Eventually I relented, but as with all things you ought to be careful wishing for, once I caught one and gave it to elder sister she really didn't know what to do with it. Ah well, best for her to experience this now w/ a free bird, rather than wait 'til they get back to Manila and one day find themselves in front of the display window at Bio-Research looking at cute and pitiful dogs yearning to breathe free and pee on their carpeting.

While we missed out on the Dom Pérignon (seriously, how does one misplace 5 huge bottles of those things?), but at least got to taste the wedding champagne, cake and Patron tequila. Ok, everyone else had the last one. Body shots are not my idea of fun.

Anniversary Dinner (& A Movie)

I call it as such because it's almost one year to the day since I last had Beijinoy friends (and/or otherwise) over to my house for dinner while the 'rents are in HK.

Learning from last year's shortcomings I just invited everyone I could and cooked more food than usual. Most of them couldn't stay to finish the evening's featured film, but that's ok. Living room was stiflingly humid, anyway.

Tonight was arranged as a small "Welcome Back" party for Lyndon, who flew in the US (and enlisted in the US NAVY, yo!), and for to Tin and Pei, post-Palawan-wedding-wise. Tonight's menu consisted of spaghetti w/ meat sauce ('natch), boiled dumplings, broccoli in potato cream soup (easier than I thought to prepare), and grilled Hungarian sausages.

So for those who said they'd come but didn't, y'all missed out on a lotta meat. And Selecta Coffee Crumble for dessert. :p

(And apologies to Fernds for not getting your picture, otherwise this woulda been a complete group shot.)