Into Africa, Day 6: "Where U Can Go A Place Like San Francisco But It's A Little Low(er)... It's Capetown"*

For a song parody lyricist, I make a great cook.

April 5, 2010: Sis is currently in China for her birthday today. Both circumstances are unrelated.

Anyhoo, apparently here in South Africa they celebrate Easter Monday, and as such most of their business establishments are closed. Some in the group took advantage of their waking up early to go around the hotel area to take some pictures, while I slept it off and only had an hour left of free time to enjoy my breakfast. Beverage section even gave us a choice of bottled Still or Sparkling water, the latter that just tastes weird and turns your orange juice into a less-sweetened version of Royal Tru Orange. Tammy was receiving constant weather reports for Table Mountain, and so far it was still at cold and cloudy, so our morning trip there was put on hold for now. Instead we started our day at Signal Hill, w/c gave us a spectacular view Capetown's two other peaks, Devil's Peak and Table Mountain, as well as a view of the city (ooh, I can see our hotel from up here). Frankly the weather feels very Canadian to me (i.e. Sunny w/ chilly winds), but I still opted to leave the jacket in the car.

Afterwards we drove around the city, seeing the Malay Quarters (no Malays sighted), House of Parliament (where their president stays when he's in town), City Hall (where the pigeons hang out just outside) before finally stopping at the Castle of Good Hope. The shuriken-shaped place (more Pentagram then Pentagon) reminded me of Intramuros, w/ the high stone walls and vintage cannons, but w/o the Starbucks.

Speaking of cannons, we were treated to a cannon-firing demonstration by someone from the South African Cannon Preservation Association (or some-such organization for that-such purpose). While soliciting donations in exchange for being able to light the fuse and fire his small cannon, so to speak, one woman finally stepped up and forked over 100Rand to shoot a small 5lb. iron ball towards a small drawing of Humpty Dumpty (whom legend has it was actually a cannon, not a giant egg, w/c wasn't mentioned in the nursery rhyme, anyway). The palace also housed a military museum that had two life-size replicas of horses. Nice front lawn, too.

We then headed for the West Coast Ostrich Farm and mingle w/ said giant birds, and, unbeknown to them, have the ones not on display for lunch. These giant birds have lot in common w/ cows in that they're herded, their skin makes for some quality leather goods, easy to feed from your hand, but if you agitate them can kick you so hard you'll fart through your mouth.

Their mini-museum had a full-size skeleton, metal skeleton sculptures, giant feather fans, ostrich skin displayed and framed on the wall, and bottles containing their gonads, eyeballs and an embryo. The room next door had eggs being painted and decorated like secular Easter on steroids. Turns out they're able to produce unfertilized eggs for the sole purpose of making these hard-to-break souvenirs, priced as low as 70 (plain) to as holy-crap-high as 500 (Laser-etched, painted and glazed). The two usual entertainment options I didn't do was stand to the ostrich eggs laying at the sand pit and/or mount an secured ostrich for photo-op purposes.

Other creatures of interest included medium-sized tortoises and albino peacocks. The latter slowly (duh) walked around in a pen and our and our museum guide picked one of them up to give us a closer look. The skin on their legs reminded of that Indonesian "Tree Man" (click here if you dare) and lifting him almost threw my back out.

The latter were just hanging around just outside the ostrich pens and attracting the attention of tourists and the sole colored peacock. At the gift shop I bought an ostrich egg to replace the one Jian broke, as well as a couple of pasalubong and those colored stones Ma asked me to buy for the fishbowls and glass trays in the living room. These things were sold by the cup or bag, and you're left to fill it as much as possible w/o spilling any.

After the light lunch of ostrich meat (another thing in common w/ cows: they taste like beef) w/ just the ironically small serving of scrambled ostrich egg, we went to the Groot Constantia Winery for some wine tasting. I placed emphasis on the tasting, giving that cast-iron spittoon they placed on our table a run for its money. Whether it was because of what happened to me on the plane coming to Joburg or just my experience w/ wine drinking in general, all 5 bottles that passed my mouth went from swivel, smell, swish, spit. Repeat. Admittedly, I'm not an expert. Hell, one glassful is all it'll take to make me sleepy. All I could discern was whether the booze was fruity or dry. Sticking to champagne and Welch.

The rest of our late afternoon found us back at the V&A Waterfront, but now we had more time to explore the place, mostly the craft shops outside the mall and local boutiques. I browsed their music shop for a bit, where the "bargain" CD went for 50 rand, or 350 pesos. Hooray for bittorrent. Dinner was at a Chinese restaurant (surprise), Mr. Chan, where they almost shang-danged us out of our abalone. We got back to the hotel earlier than usual, but still managed to stay up 'til 1AM to write on the journal manually (netbook still on the fritz). Also caught the end of the Jesus miniseries (The Passion) and found out that the ''ill-designed'' showerhead i mentioned last time wasn't redundant, but that I just pressed the wrong button. South African hotel shower technology almost beat me. But I can figure out those electrical outlets, this shouldn't have phased me.

Into Africa, Day 5: Diamonds are Forever (Pricey)

April 4, 2010 (Easter Sunday): The nice-looking breakfast buffet spread here at the Joburg Crowne Plaza Hotel makes up for the so-so view from our bedroom window. I think we're overlooking a small bank. As for the former, though, I was this close to having poured lumpy milk into my cereal, but good thing Achi Arlen caught the sour taste before I did. (Ok, good for me, bad for her.)

After breakfast I did a quick tour of the hotel before we officially checked out. Small gym, smaller (elevated) pool, and a funky "unisex" bathroom where both genders cross paths at the circular washbin area but choose from several doors lined up like the fitting rooms in a clothing boutique. Our parting shot is this "Telenovela Ensemble Cast" portrait on the upper left.

After checking out Peter took us on a tour of downtown Johannesburg," and being a no-work Sunday the place was almost a ghost town, save for the local Black population wandering about. It's the typical tale of big (White-owned) businesses moving elsewhere, leaving the poorer (black) residents w/ big empty office buildings and skyscrapers. Crime is rampant, Peter says, but illegal immigrants still come over. The place looked like pictures of I've seen of downtown Detroit in the Eighties.

AiAi was feeling pious and asked that we stop by a church. After looking for less dodgy looking neighborhoods we stopped at a Catholic church where they had people queuing outside for food, most of them homeless or illegals. When we stepped inside the place was packed, w/ one White priest sermoning to an all-Black congregation (Asian tourists not counted). I was surprised to find that the diamond workshop we were visiting was w/in the vicinity of that dodgy neighborhood, but then again I supposed those rocks would be hard to fence. The guard at the door looked and dressed like a certain deposed Iraqui dictator, w/c from a conspiratorial point of view made for an interesting cover.

The tour around the "factory" by their manager (who emigrated from Taiwan 15 years ago) was merely to highlight the technical aspects on diamond jewelry production (and to take us to their showroom later on, 'natch). Their computer program used a 3D model of an uncut diamond, w/c then the software draws the most efficient jewel shape that they cut out of it. It reminded me of those articles I read of how Leonardo Da Vinci didn't sculpt his famous horse statue from scratch, but just showed everyone the horse that was already inside. I wasn't in the market for one, either way (sorry ladies), so the tour felt dull. We were also given a lecture on the 4 C's of diamonds; when realistically, I thought there should be seven. (The extra 3 being Cash, Credit and Collateral?)

After another Chinese lunch (where AiAi managed to get our sick-of-tofu dish changed to pork spareribs) we headed for the airport, said our goodbyes to Peter, goofed around at the airport shops, and took the 2-hour British Airways flight to Capetown. During the flight I the stewardess asked to turn off my celphone after she saw me wearing the headphones (I was listening to the Leather Maiden audiobook on my Nokia 6300), but Albryan showed me the "flight" function on the phone, w/c allowed me to use of non-celphone related functions and kept it from emitting and receiving signals. Cool beans, but I'm still of the mindset that if a tiny phone ringing can bring down a jumbo jet, it's the jet that has a problem.

Upon landing in Capetown we were met-and-greeted by Fatima Wahab, aka Tammy, a local of Pakistani descent, but spoke w/ such a charming singsong British finishing school accent if left me wondering if she teaches young girls piano lessons on the side. ("Prektise, prektise!") She took us to what would be our "tambayan" for the duration of our stay here: the V & A (Victoria and Alfred) Waterfront. The look of the place reminded me of the Marina District in San Francisco (w/ seal sightings coming up inna coupla days), and when I mentioned this to Tammy she said V&A also reminded other tourists of a Brisbane in Australia, as well.

We went around the mall (w/ the most time spent at the first souvenir gift shop we stopped in-- whatever happened to canvassing?) for an hour and a half before grabbing some dinner at the Hildebrand Restaurant, where for once we had some decent fish, fresh from the ocean nearby.

The Le Vendome Hotel was going for a Victorian-era look for it's rooms, so save for the flatscreen TV and bathtub w/ the oddly placed showerhead hose, they might have completely succeeded. And I have to mention that of all the hotels we stayed in during this trip they are slowest in terms of service. Asking for ice took 2 calls, and getting the proper electrical outlet adapter took trial and error. Two flat prongs versus a triangular dot formation on the wall! There is a worldwide conspiracy of wall outlet manufacturers out there determined to not make a globally accepted electrical outlet design, but instead continue to mindf@#k w/ tourists. And they're probably conspiring w/ universal travel adapter manufacturers, as well.

Oh, and in case you needed a better picture of that unisex bathroom at the Joburg Crowne:

Into Africa, Day 4: Gold Reef Fevah

April 3, 2010: Our last morning game drive here at the Mabula Lodge was a vast improvement over yesterday's, especially weather-wise. Rain was replaced by fog and mist, and it turns out if you drive through them quickly in an open-air jeep, dewdrops form on face and you look like you're sweating in a sauna. Better moist than soaked. TinTin was able to join us this time, sorta taking JunJun's place since he was feeling under the weather, w/c is apt since getting soaked yesterday from the rain was probably what caused it. (Unfortunately for JunJun, his roommate Roger joined us at the game drive but took their jailhouse-style room key w/ him and locked him inside.)

The animal sighting checklist was improved, as well, w/ better views/close-ups of giraffes, zebras, gnus, jackals (driver/guide Rudy said this was a rarity), wild boar, impalas and water buffalo. As a last resort we drove all the way to a separate reservation to find the lions and elephants, but Rudy only saw their tracks and path of destruction (by the elephant in the form of fallen trees). Being that far away from our lodge we got back an hour late, so we only had 1 hour to have breakfast (they have flapjacks!) and pack.

On our drive back on Johannesburg we had lunch at the Lotus Chinese restaurant and witnessed an odd spectacle. Behind the dividing wall a rowdy bunch of Chinese men (aka "Chonkers") called the Chinese manager over, then she in turn asked 2 black waitresses to join them. Next thing we knew the waitresses were kissing one of the Chonkers on the cheek and leaving w/ a nice tip. Seems Chonkers facsination w/ Blacks isn't gender specific.

After 2 hours on the road we were at the Gold Reef City Theme Park. For a Black Saturday (no pun intended) this place was packed. We were first treated to a brief film about the origins of Johannesburg's gold rush. The film shows a black kid talking to a "reflection" of an old white prospector in a small pond, who regales him w/ said history. (Wonder what would've been weirder: if the kid was really just talking to a puddle of water on the ground like an idiot, or that a creepy white prospector was behind him talking to the kid like an idiot.)

Afterwards we went 220 meters down a elevator to tour a decommissioned(?) gold mine. The section we were being shown at just the mining tip of the iceberg, as the whole mine went down as far as 3,700 meters, and I don't think park staff are keen to hand out oxygen tanks along w/ the hardhats and flashlights they already lent us. Speaking of hardhats, that thing saved my noggin at least three times from the low ceilings in this place. (Definitely fared better than my forehead when it got a slight cut 2 days ago from opening the Sun City Palace room cabinets incorrectly.) After the underground tour we saw a gold-pouring demonstration that form those large bricks we see on TV and a couple of Indiana Jones movies. Gah, those things are heavy.

Now we barely have enough time to try out a couple of rides in the theme park, mebbe one if we were lucky. As with my trip to Universal Osaka two years back, I was the only one willing to line up for their inverted roller coaster ride, The Anaconda. While at the queue me and others in line had to put up w/ a-hole line jumpers (who sheepishly walked to the back of the line after they were called out) and screaming riders who just finished their run after spinning around for 100 seconds at 55.9mph; but it was hard to tell if the screams were from the adrenaline rush or someone discovering they caught the vomit of the person riding in front to them. When I finally got on the ride it was 5pm on the nose, the park's closing time. "Kind" usher ushered me to the front seat to sit next to the guy who called out the a-hole line jumpers. (Bravo, sir.) Like myself he just lined up for this ride alone. Unlike myself he opted to leave his shoes behind for the ride, while I lost my Nokia cap mid-air after the first loop.

We left the park (missed out on the chopper ride for R240) and after a brief photo-op at Soccer City (currently undergoing renovation for the 2010 World Cup) we headed for the Carnivore Restaurant for a chance to sample some of those animals we saw during our game drives (take that, PETA). Cream of potato soup for starters, followed by a lazy-Susan 6 salad (Greek, Salsa, Sweetcorn, Three Bean, Baby Marrow & Coleslaw) and sauce (Garlic, Horseradish, Mint, Apple, Chilli & Cranberry) combo, cornmeal w/gravy on the side, and finallly come the waiters w/ their skewered meat. First one offered pork sausages (pass), then one came w/ roast beef (pass). Venison? Now you're talking. Impala was dry and tough, but the Blesbock was really juicy. Hey, other waiter, when are you coming to our table w/ those venison meat balls? (Not to be confused as Roger was when I said "Venison balls.") I passed on the crocodile meat, coz it was cooked like chicken and tasted like chicken. Sadly the more exotic zebra, giraffe and warthog were not in tonight's menu (false advertising, photocopied travel itinerary!), but we had ice cream for dessert.

Tonight we stayed at the Joburg Crowne Plaza, a 5-star hotel totally in love w/ it's European design roots, if the nightclub-ish lounge sofas surrounded by bead curtains and bubble designs on the walls are any indication. I half expect Lady Gaga or a Calvin Klein commercial crew to pop up any moment.

Into Africa, Day 3: Mabula Matata

April 2, 2010: Since everyone slept early last night we were all up pretty early, especially AiAi who dragged 3-Ku up at 6:30AM for more picture-taking around the hotel. My head was still glued to the pillow at the time, but 2 hours later TinTin and I had breakfast by the pool deck, trying out the strawberry smoothie and passion fruit juices, and checking out some TV magazine host interview the head chef for their program. One odd thing about the dessert buffet was that it wasn't being buzzed around by flies, but bees. Literally. Managed to get a strudel w/o getting stung. And their apple mangoes were incredible.

Thanks to AiAi's meticulous nature (got that from her mom), not only were we all up bright and early, but we checked out of The Palace and made it to the front entrance to meet Peter w/ time to spare. Many a time I toured w/ Pinoys/Tsinoys that either cut too close to the meeting time or are just plain-@$$ late. Now comes to 2-hour drive to the Mabula Game Lodge.

The fates seemed to be against us (and my tummy, still) as we arrived to a wet and rainy game reserve. That pool would've been nice to swim in if the water wasn't freezing. I didn't know what to expect from our rooms, but some of us apparently thought we were getting into a tent or hut with a cot, and hopefully a working toilet. One out of three isn't bad. No, we had modern accommodations, w/ each "hut" unique in design and bed arrangement. All the doors used old-style keyhole keys, but no lock for the bathroom. No cable, either, as 10 lonely channels on the TV would attest. Rooms also lacked some floor mats, w/c made entering w/ wet shoes pretty messy. (On the other hand: split-type air conditioners, oooh...)

Lunch thankfully was a buffet that offered vegetables, while their shepherd's pie used ostrich meat. The Olivans had an unfortunate extra-spicy encounter w/ the salsa that had more sliced peppers than diced tomatoes, but fortunately there was milk by the drink bar to counter its effects. And they had fresh ice cream! Wasn't expecting that.

We got to rest for an hour and a half before our afternoon game drive, during w/c I caught the last part of Melanie Griffith's movie Crazy in Alabama and what was apparently (after some IMDB research) the first part of a miniseries about Jesus and the Passion, w/ James Nesbitt (Jekyll) playing Pontius Pilate. I liked how the show humanized both Jesus, Pilate and the Pharisees, giving the latter more depth and a credible reason to think Jesus was a threat to them, something that wasn't exactly delved into from watching episodes of The Flying House, w/c basically made them a cookie-cutter villainous organization. Jesus is still prescient like a sunnuvagun, though, and when placed in modern context, comes off a bit of a nutter.

The rain still wouldn't let up and it kept on drizzling for our afternoon safari. We were met by our game drive(r) Rudy, who handed us rain ponchos, because this time our jeep didn't even have a roof. Aside from all of us looking like the ensemble for the musical version of Unbreakable, at first I thought that the plastic poncho (from yesterday) I was already wearing was going to be redundant, but turns out later on it was crucial in preventing the rainwater that seeped through Rudy's ponchos from reaching most of my clothes. Unfortunately what didn't seep through just trickled down to my socks, shoes, lower pants legs and boxers, apparently not being part of the "most of" category.

At least this game drive was more educational than yesterday's. Rudy was very informative and led us to see a mostly eaten rhino carcass (w/c Rudy said was struck by lightning), as well as our first crash of white rhino (looking all black from the rain, but then again Rudy explained the name was a English mistranslation of the Dutch word for wide, referring to the creature's big mouths). We also drove to a nearby pond where a crocodile's eyes peered at us, unmoving, and saw more giraffes, zebras and gnus (Rudy called them the clowns of the Savannah because their physical features seemed to be derived from several other animals, like a bastard child of a horse gang-banged by other animals), but no luck on lions nor elephants. Plant-wise, the oddest thing we saw was the white-thorn acacia. Without flowers, the plant looked like it was growing those white bamboo toothpicks you get at restaurants.

When we got back to our rooms, first thing we did was take a shower (irony intended). Second thing was to made good use of the room's hairdryer on the my sneakers and pants, and in 3-Ku's case, his wallet.

Now 3-Ku is old school about the "2 guys sharing a room" thing, in that not closing the bathroom door when doing twosies, or even bothering to do something about the afterstench was normal. In lieu of Lysol, never was my bringing a bottle of Tommy Sport as an afterthought to this trip been so helpful.

During the buffet dinner some of the staff (presumably) performed a song-and-dance routine, w/ one them going around tables offering face-painting services to guests (mostly black or white stripes and dots, nothing too artistic).

Into Africa, Day 2: Land of the Rising Sun City

April 1, 2010: Up rainy and early for my first ever game drive at the Pilansberg Game Reserve. They gave us raincoats but failed to mention that the tarp over our jeep was meant to protect riders from sun, not water. While trying (but failing) to keep my clothes dry we got all paparazzi-ish on the animal sightings, and w/ some of the quality of our pictures. Rain rain go away...

A few beasts braved the rain, if not our cameras. Zebras and gnus literally turned their backsides to us. The impalas leaped away. The giraffe wouldn't take time out of eating his leafy breakfast for a decent picture. The lioness stared creepily in the way that I half-expected her to come after us if we used flash photography. And did I mention we were getting wet from the rain?

Funnily enough, after drying ourselves off from the wet safari (and me taking some Immodium) we had breakfast and headed for The Valley of Waves, the Palace's water-themed amusement park. With it's prerequisite artificial beach and wave-generator, water slides, giant inner tubes and lazy river ride, it's a variation of Splash Island, w/ the added bonus of a trampoline ride and a giant pool for actual swimming.

Some of us got tired of waiting for big fake waves to hit us, so we first tried the Temple of Courage, where I slid 17m down and the force of the water landing pushed up my boxer trunks, turning into a T-thong. Moving on to tube and body water-slides, both had open-air and closed versions. The closed tubes limit movement and have u slide down in complete darkness, while the open ones may look safer but actually can turn you around while sliding.

As an endcap to my fun I got in one of those giant inflatable plastic balls, after which they moved me into a shallow pool and I my best hamster impression. Inside the bubble you can't hear anything other than your own voice and the sound your body makes slamming on the plastic as you attempt to stand up straight. They only give you 5 minutes inside the ball, w/c is reasonable because you probably use up that much oxygen laughing while inside it. Whoo, great workout.

We had to rush our lunch a little bit because of scheduled activities afterwards, including archery and clay shooting. Because it was drizzling our instructor, Shadow, handed out plastic raincoats, or as I like to call 'em: sandwich bags.

After managing to give my left arm a couple of welts from releasing the bowstring incorrectly, my aim improved in time and I even managed to get a bullseye 3x in one round (out of seven). As for the clay target shooting, well, let's just say for a gunman I make an excellent archer. Not only did I manage to bruise my right shoulder from the recoil, but sometimes I missed because w/ the protective earmuffs on I also couldn't hear Shadow's commands to shoot. After all of us (except for Carol, who acquired a fear of gunfire alla sudden) got to shoot about 25 rounds well into the late afternoon, the weather only got worse and we had to cancel (but got refunded on) our ATV riding trip.

After some Chinese ('natch) at the Orchid, we were treated to an after-dinner program (or cabaret) at the Sun City Theater: Dancing Queen. If you thought it was a tribute to ABBA (or as Carol thought, a stage version of Mamma Mia!) you'd be half right. Full points if you said "Abba and Queen tribute." (Title was too clever for its own good. Dancing Radio Gaga, perhaps.) Anyhoo it was fairly entertaining, and that almost made up losing at the roulette table twice.

When I got back at the hotel room I soaked in the hot tub, hoping to staving off impeding aching upper body tomorrow.

Into Africa, Day 1: The 'Burgs (UPDATED)

*Logging on from the Le Vendome Hotel in Capetown after I found my netbook inexplicably working again after not being able to do so during my time here in South Africa. That said, gift horse inna mouth and alla that...

MAR. 31, 2010-- On my 13+ hour Cathay Pacific flight from HK to Johannesburg I sat next to-- and had a pleasant chat w/ for a good portion of the trip -- a Canadian who's now living in South Africa, but does business back home working in the mining industry. When I showed him the itinerary he complimented in approval, but like me wondered why we were going to eat at so many Chinese restaurants instead of sampling more local food, w/c he said comprised of a lot of meat. (Guess that answers that question. Where else would we get our veggies?) He shared some tips on ordering said meat for my trip to the Carnivore Restaurant (decline initial offers of beef and pork; wait for the antelope and/or zebra) and shared a cautionary anecdote on local hotel security that involved his wife, a cleaning lady, a missing phone and the cleaning lady's ringing boob when wife dialed the number of said missing phone.

Speaking of digesting, that plastic glass of white wine I had did not agree w/ me. While it's been scientifically proven that one does not get intoxicated faster from alcohol consumption while ( this high up in the air, my nausea and pounding headache is proving to be the exception.

At "Joburg" International Airport we were greeted by a tall lady and gentleman, the latter being Peter, former policeman during Apartheid turned tour guide (interesting career change, for sure).

For my part, I'm sure that if it weren't for the diarrhea and headache (now brought about by the change in land altitude as I'm now at 694m above sea level), the places we visited during the city tour of Pretoria would've received my full attention. Instead I was rubbing my temples and clenching my butt. After the sights and sounds of famous landmarks like Paul Kruger's old house and the Voortrekker Monument currently under renovation, we had lunch at our first Chinese restaurant (Lai Jing) and continued on our 2-hour drive to Sun City.

Sun City is not an actual city any more than Disney World is another planet. Turns out the place had more in common w/ Las Vegas, with a group of 4 hotels and a couple of entertainment centers. We were booked at The Palace of the Lost City and greeted by stoic-looking staff who handed us wine glasses filled w fruit juice, plus a bowl of strawberries. By coincidence BoiT's old classmate Kendreck Chua was also in town and staying here w/ his wife, in-laws and some of their relatives. We checked in, rested a bit and checked out the place. Saw an odd sign by the pool area: Please Do Not Feed the Monkeys. That's the most pressing problem here?!?

After a buffet dinner at the Calabash Restaurant (had my first taste of ostrich neck stew) we exchanged the vouchers the hotel gave us for a 100 Rand single-play chip. Che lucked out by winning big on roulette, her 100 Rand becoming 450 from betting the number of her mom's birthday.

Meanwhile I spent my evening afterwards w/ multiple bathroom visits. (Stupid white wine...)

Into Africa, Day 0

I only have 30 mins free use of the Taiwan Beef Noodle Restuarant's internet service here in HK Airport, so naturally I went to Facebook (ditto the other 2 Pinoy ladies next to me) before logging on here. Flight to Johannesburg less than 2 hours away. The 2-hour Cathay Pacific flight from Manila to HK before that breezed by thanks to multiple viewings of Family Guy.

New plane, new controls, better video-by-demand service. Improved chairs even have sliding seats for leaning, a mini-hanger for your bag, and even an outlet for your laptop to charge in, but it's 110 volts.

Small world rears its way again, as 2 of my companions are Bacolodian Beijinoys --siblings Albri and Che-- who were in the same batch as my cousin AiAi during their China stint, so they know Beyz, Lyndon, Manol and The Contessa.

Currently reading Shootout: Surviving Fame and (Mis)Fortune in Hollywood by Peters Bart and Guber. MP3 function on the celphone has The Ricky Gervais Guide to: The Human Body.

Circle of Jet-Lag: South Africa Itinerary Inna Nutshell

Now if I was a celebrity (or worse, Marlene Aguilar), I'd be worried about posting my holiday itinerary for Holy Week next week, in this case a "South African Sojourn 10 Day Tour" (as it sez on the photocopied folded flyer) w/ 3-Ku, cousins TinTin and AiAi, and their friends.

But I'm not, so here's the breakdownsies:

Total time in the air = approx. 32.5 hours

What's killer is the 13+ flight from HK to Johannesburg (and vice versa a week after), otherwise the other 4 (out of 6) plane rides we'll be taking are a couple of hours each. I smell lotsa naptime.

Total # of lodgings = 4

Sun City Palace Hotel for 3 days, Mabula Game Lodge for 2 days (more like overnight), Johannesburg Crowne Plaza Hotel for 2 days and Capetown Le Vendome Hotel for 4 days. Mabula Game Lodge looks to be the most interesting of the 4, so of course we're not staying long enough to explore "12,000 hectares of malaria free reserve."

Total # of Chinese restaurants we're eating in = 4

Not sure if this is stereotyping the Tsinoy tourists, but lemme put it this way: we don't go to China to look for a Big Mac, so why would we go to South Africa for Chinese food? If it's for "familiarity" or a "taste of home" they're missing the mark. Show me a Jollibee in Johannesburg and then I'll be pleasantly surprised. On the other hand the Carnivore Restaurant offers the chance to taste "crocodile, zebra or giraffe and more. " Guess that's one way to control the safari animal population. Madagascar movie fans may wince.

Total cost of trip= Thank God I'm sponsored, coz at my current salary it would take me over a decade to even consider this.

Sunday, Dopeyz Sunday

Last Sunday half of the original Dopeyz met up at SM Mezza residences in Sta. Mesa to celebrate the 3rd birthday of one of their spawn. That'd be ZAC*, the girl on the right wearing the flower tiara.

The place was one jeep ride away from my house, and this was my first time to step inside the 4-Tower condo spread, where ZAC's 3rd birthday party was being held. When I arrived at the 5th floor (not that I had much of a choice w/their lobby elevator only having 3 buttons: G, 2 and 5) the party was slowly on its way. Mommy Anne and her family are set to move into Tower 3 while final ownership legalities are being finalized, w/c might explain why a lot of apartment doors were still sealed/wrapped in plastic and the inside covered in tacky show-curtains. In the meantime they get to use the "Amenities Floor," w/c houses 2 swimming pools (one swimming, one wading), a huge lawn and party area, and a bar section that was naturally empty since this was a kid's party. Game organizing could've used some improvement but the weather wasn't being cooperative as we were visited by drizzles and strong winds.

While walking around and shooting the breeze w/ Lynette I learned that LRT3 riders won't be getting a view of the Amenities Floor, just the other way around since the place was elevated high enough. (Take that, would-be locomotive peeping toms.) Dopeyz-wise I learned one of us was regretting getting married to who-turned out to be a controlling spouse. (That said, this is 3rd-hand info and non-libelous, but nonetheless intriguing to hear, since I use that Dopey as an example of how even the longest-lasting couplings among us don't end up they way you expected, i.e. together. Eight months is nothing compared to 7 years.)

*ZAC is an acronym of birthday girl's name, w/c I found out too late and had already gotten her an Iron Man action figure. Man, first I miss the kid's baptism, now this.

The Internet: Good for Porn, Bad for Romance.

Two days ago I met w/ a girl I like for coffee. She was running late so I killed the time browsing in-shop mags (though how Cebu Pacific's in-flight mag ended up here, who knows).

Finally she arrived and declined my offer to get her coffee, saying she had a late lunch. In hindsight I probably should have insisted of getting at least a cafe latte, but I was feeling more practical than chivalrous and took her for her word. I also didn't want to break our conversation, so I didn't order, either.

During the chat she mentioned Gymboree, and I said my friend from Cotabato (The Contessa) wanted to work there some time ago. When she asked for The Contessa's last name, it turned out she was "very good friends" w/ her older brother. (Competition? wink nudge)

And that wasn't the surreal part yet, small planet that we have. Just a coinkydink.

Cut to yesterday. On YM I relayed this tale to The Contessa. She said that yes, her brother "mentions her a lot" (wink nudge). Coupla minutes later guess who was texting her brother about a un-coffee date? And asking/telling him about me?

What got my attention was two things she mentioned about yesterday (as least what The Contessa's brother said she told him). WARNING: STOP READING NOW if you think this will take a turn for the voyeuristic. Got it? 'Kay, to continue...

One: I was "too observant" about her Facebook page.

Two: I didn't even order her coffee.

Now, two things I learned from that:

1. Gauging what constitutes as "disturbing amount of knowledge" when it comes to someone else's Facebook page info. I can be the curious and resourceful kind, but for her to be a little bamboozled about knowing common acquaintaces that Facebook itself published? It's not like I was hacking into accounts.

This kind of thing happens to me a lot, where it could start from something as odd as people asking me how I knew when their birthday was (school batch directory, etc.) or wondering how I was able to reach them (Uh, you gave me your card...). The amount the personal information my friends place online is not as odd as their callousness in keeping it unprotected

The impression I got was she was perturbed/perplexed by the amount of mutual acquaintances, even though she brought it up. (Her cousin is Jessel Monteverde, who's my batchmate and related to Mother Lily.) The one that genuinely surprised me was that she knew Aimee Uy from her days when she worked at PhilAm. Including Junius and Darwin, that brings the number of batchmates she know to four. (That said, I know her old batchmate Yvette, and by extension DJ and Goldy. Facebook snooping? No. Deductive reasoning? Yes.)

2. Insisted on buying her coffee.

In conclusion: while no fault of my own, hopefully I didn't blow it.