April 4, 2010 (Easter Sunday): The nice-looking breakfast buffet spread here at the Joburg Crowne Plaza Hotel makes up for the so-so view from our bedroom window. I think we're overlooking a small bank. As for the former, though, I was this close to having poured lumpy milk into my cereal, but good thing Achi Arlen caught the sour taste before I did. (Ok, good for me, bad for her.)
After breakfast I did a quick tour of the hotel before we officially checked out. Small gym, smaller (elevated) pool, and a funky "unisex" bathroom where both genders cross paths at the circular washbin area but choose from several doors lined up like the fitting rooms in a clothing boutique. Our parting shot is this "Telenovela Ensemble Cast" portrait on the upper left.
After checking out Peter took us on a tour of downtown Johannesburg," and being a no-work Sunday the place was almost a ghost town, save for the local Black population wandering about. It's the typical tale of big (White-owned) businesses moving elsewhere, leaving the poorer (black) residents w/ big empty office buildings and skyscrapers. Crime is rampant, Peter says, but illegal immigrants still come over. The place looked like pictures of I've seen of downtown Detroit in the Eighties.
AiAi was feeling pious and asked that we stop by a church. After looking for less dodgy looking neighborhoods we stopped at a Catholic church where they had people queuing outside for food, most of them homeless or illegals. When we stepped inside the place was packed, w/ one White priest sermoning to an all-Black congregation (Asian tourists not counted). I was surprised to find that the diamond workshop we were visiting was w/in the vicinity of that dodgy neighborhood, but then again I supposed those rocks would be hard to fence. The guard at the door looked and dressed like a certain deposed Iraqui dictator, w/c from a conspiratorial point of view made for an interesting cover.
The tour around the "factory" by their manager (who emigrated from Taiwan 15 years ago) was merely to highlight the technical aspects on diamond jewelry production (and to take us to their showroom later on, 'natch). Their computer program used a 3D model of an uncut diamond, w/c then the software draws the most efficient jewel shape that they cut out of it. It reminded me of those articles I read of how Leonardo Da Vinci didn't sculpt his famous horse statue from scratch, but just showed everyone the horse that was already inside. I wasn't in the market for one, either way (sorry ladies), so the tour felt dull. We were also given a lecture on the 4 C's of diamonds; when realistically, I thought there should be seven. (The extra 3 being Cash, Credit and Collateral?)
After another Chinese lunch (where AiAi managed to get our sick-of-tofu dish changed to pork spareribs) we headed for the airport, said our goodbyes to Peter, goofed around at the airport shops, and took the 2-hour British Airways flight to Capetown. During the flight I the stewardess asked to turn off my celphone after she saw me wearing the headphones (I was listening to the Leather Maiden audiobook on my Nokia 6300), but Albryan showed me the "flight" function on the phone, w/c allowed me to use of non-celphone related functions and kept it from emitting and receiving signals. Cool beans, but I'm still of the mindset that if a tiny phone ringing can bring down a jumbo jet, it's the jet that has a problem.
Upon landing in Capetown we were met-and-greeted by Fatima Wahab, aka Tammy, a local of Pakistani descent, but spoke w/ such a charming singsong British finishing school accent if left me wondering if she teaches young girls piano lessons on the side. ("Prektise, prektise!") She took us to what would be our "tambayan" for the duration of our stay here: the V & A (Victoria and Alfred) Waterfront. The look of the place reminded me of the Marina District in San Francisco (w/ seal sightings coming up inna coupla days), and when I mentioned this to Tammy she said V&A also reminded other tourists of a Brisbane in Australia, as well.
We went around the mall (w/ the most time spent at the first souvenir gift shop we stopped in-- whatever happened to canvassing?) for an hour and a half before grabbing some dinner at the Hildebrand Restaurant, where for once we had some decent fish, fresh from the ocean nearby.
The Le Vendome Hotel was going for a Victorian-era look for it's rooms, so save for the flatscreen TV and bathtub w/ the oddly placed showerhead hose, they might have completely succeeded. And I have to mention that of all the hotels we stayed in during this trip they are slowest in terms of service. Asking for ice took 2 calls, and getting the proper electrical outlet adapter took trial and error. Two flat prongs versus a triangular dot formation on the wall! There is a worldwide conspiracy of wall outlet manufacturers out there determined to not make a globally accepted electrical outlet design, but instead continue to mindf@#k w/ tourists. And they're probably conspiring w/ universal travel adapter manufacturers, as well.
Oh, and in case you needed a better picture of that unisex bathroom at the Joburg Crowne:
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