Frienecdotes (Friend's Anecdotes)

Either my friends lead such interesting lives, or the circumstances surrounding the next three tales simply disrupted their otherwise mundane ones. For the first time(?), some names have been changed to protect the innocent-- namely, moi.

ONE: (Phone chat. Called Dee at her office for help arranging the Beijinoy Boracay trip.)
"Wow, you sound tired."
"Yeah, I might not come to work tomorrow."
"What happened? Are you sick?"
"No, I got robbed last night."
(Exit cheerful tone stage right.)

While Dee was getting gas at a Shell Station in Vito Cruz, the person approaching her from the driver's side of her Honda CRV was not an attendant about to hand her the bill, but a mugger. Because she struggled w/ the creep he wasn't able to get anything, but still ended up slashing Dee's arm a couple of times before escaping in his getaway tricycle.

What rankled me about this story was while Dee was busy trying not to bleed to death, or beforehand while the mugging was in progress, she said the Shell Station attendants were nowhere to be found. Instead she was assisted by attendants from a neighboring gas station. (Christ, Shell, is the Citibank 5% rebate thing hitting you guys so badly your gas stations have resorted to hiring apathetic f@#k-ups who stick the nozzle in the tank and go their merry way?) Dee reported the incident to police and got her arm stitched up, but unfortunately didn't get a good look at the guy.

Two nights later at a club Dee spent the evening telling the story to friends about 20 times, in response to them seeing her arm, and, amidst the loud music mouthing the words What happened to your arm, to w/c she gesticulated w/ her left hand stabbing her bandaged right. HI-larious.

TWO: Talking to Karen about her job, or to be precise she did most of the talking about her job while I drove. Background: She left her old bank job for a new one w/ better pay and position. But as the months passed that bank tightened their vault door and let some of the staff go, and she was presented w/ the choice of early retirement or demotion. She chose the latter and ended up w/ the same position she had at the old bank.

A year passes w/o incident, but come promotion time she was passed over for "lack of initiative," by someone younger and w/ less work experience than her. What "initiative" does one expect from someone demoted to Teller? Get new accounts? That's the Sales' job. Organize the office Xmas party w/o being asked to do so? Resist the urge to strangle young upstart higher-ups w/ delusions of false authority?

THREE: Aunt Teleute's job is purchasing fiction titles to be sold at the bookstore company where she works. Three years ago a foreign fiction titles consultant was brought in to work w/ her, a guy more than twice her age. While at first she resented the company seemingly not trusting her to do her job competently and thus inviting an ousider to evalute her, she later proved them wrong. Later on she even appreciated the presence of a actual fellow bibliophile (Who knew liking books and reading wasn't company policy?) and formed a paternal/ mentor-student relationship with him. They'd see each other at local literary events as colleagues and talked about books the way I'd talk to her about movies/TV.

You only think you know where this is going.

One afternoon on the road after attending a literary awards ceremony (where Old Guy joined the poetry category) Aunt Teleute was telling Old Guy (who was driving) about how she missed her voluntarily institutionalized boyfriend and her desire to become a writer. Amidst their passing by a motel district Old Guy seemed to construe her former statement as simply a case of someone missing sex and lacking experience in experimenting. This was followed by his hand lightly brushing her knee (w/c she used to dismiss as harmless geriatric reflexes) and then propositioning her.

Now, Aunt Telelute is not prone to flights of panic in stress-inducing situations (hell, she didn't even freak out when the salon she went to at Robinson's Galleria singed her beautiful black hair in a re-bonding process gone wrong), so she jokingly declined Old Guy's proposal, and he did similar and said he was just teasing her. (Testing the pervert waters, more like it.) Not to be given a second thought. Until last Saturday.

While they were at The Shang Mall waiting for some writers for a lunch meeting to shoot the shit with, Old Guy propositioned her again, much to her surprise and frustration. Sure, she liked him and grew up in the comfortable bond of old people (her dad's pushing 80-something), and mebbe if everything else was different (i.e. she's available while he's not twice her age) he'd have a shot of not being maced or tasered then and there.

But it's not, she thought. He's OLD. Really old. As in Married-with-kids-and-grandkids-old. So old Michael Douglas would look at their couplehood w/ disapproval. She again jokingly declined and told him that she won't wait w/ him for writers and instead do some window shopping. As she stood up to leave she jokingly apologized for being so desirable to him. On the inside Aunt Teleute pitied him and thought how disappointed she was at this pathetic old man, throwing away 3 years of friendship at the off-chance of getting casual May-December nookie.

While today Old Pervert doesn't come to Aunt Teleute's workplace as often as before, there's still the matter of the saucy text messages he's been sending her lately. Think of it as Smart Stalk 'N' Sext. Makes me long for the day when you can kick someone in the nuts via cellphone.

Monday Moment w/ Mona

Mona Veronica Cu (Ang) is unique in my small circle of Favorite People in that we've rarely seen each other. Before this dinner meeting in Greenhills that was arranged last week I could count the number of times we made eye-contact in one hand, and that's including the first time I met her at her sister Melody's high school graduation ceremony back in 1997. I found out that had she finished her schooling in Saint Jude (and not transferred to Uno) we would've been batchmates.

After that a friendship grew from nothing but phone calls and sharing stories, mostly from her. Yes, she's a talker w/ a strong personality, but we never run out of stuff to talk about. Admittedly I was already attracted to her from that first meeting, but the mention of the "B" Word in one of our phone-chats (Oh, my boyfriend likes to play volleyball, too.) was like a simultaneous kick to the throat, nuts and gut. While I managed to keep my composure in the conversation, after we hung up I wept a little that night.

(Ugh, pre-college sappiness. Gross.)

Despite that innocent revelation I kept communication ties going. If she can't be my girlfriend, at least she'll make a great friend, and in that decision I did not err. Even when she invited me to her 18th birthday party and her wedding day, I kept any lingering feelings to myself, knowing that Hollywood rom-com plot twists and/or last-minute declarations of affection were uncomfortable and creepy when done in real life.

Contrary to what her friends say (not that I can confirm if they did say it, but I just like opening w/ a cliche, sometimes), Mona is more a workhorse than a workaholic. Meeting w/ her casually should be done w/ an appointment, w/c can't be helped. Had she been a desk jockey instead of being a construction site overseer she would not be a slave to circumstance. Bad enough to only gets to play w/ her 2 kids on Sunday. Playing with her husband Melvin is a subject for a more mature blog, so there.

She's also of two minds when it comes to meeting would-be fellow Ad Extremians. On the one hand she's curious to see if her perception of them from grade school has matched, surpassed or missed any expectations of what they ought to be like now. On the other hand she's afraid of not knowing any of their names or faces. I keep telling not to worry as I'd be doing introductions, and maybe even prepare name tags if laryngitis ever gets me.

Monday Malling Palling w/ the Pelinas (or Chasing CoffAmy)

On special occasions I give myself the rest of the afternoon off from work. Who am I kidding, the hard work is usually done by lunch and the afternoons are spent looking for useful things to do around the office. Good thing then this Monday afternoon I had useful things to do and special people to see.

After bank errands and picking Jian up from school, I drove out to SM MoA to meet long unseen college classmate, Facebook chat buddy and Flixster soulmate Amy Yap Pelina (after almost a decade of long-time-no-see-ness), along w/ her husband, fellow comic/movie/TV geek Marc and their bibliophile daughter Trinity. They had just gotten back from a weekend trip to Batangas, and Marc was sporting the consequences of not having placed enough (or any, I think) sunblock on his person. Supermom was on her 2nd-but-definitely-not-the-last container of non-migraine curing coffee (inside joke). Trinity took an extended LOA from her school.

We met outside (and later ate inside) Cafe Mediterranean, exchanging presents, sort of. As they were kind enough to bring the books and T-shirts I (and Lola, respectively) ordered, in my attempt at being a gracious host I wasn't showing up empty-handed. In hindsight I underestimated Trinity's voracious reading appetite and should have gotten her more than the first 2 volumes of the Doraemon series, as she finished the Vol. 1 after lunch and Vol. 2 after dessert at The Coffee Bean.

After the hearty meals we went the IMAX Theater to watch Avatar , w/c is now first on my "Longest 3D Movies Ever Watched On An 80-Foot Screen" list. The first scene w/ Sam Worthington's character Jake waking up in the space station had its best affect on me, and I "felt" the screen tilt along the rest of the movie while it was depicting weightlessness. Got kinda sleepy in the 2nd Act, more alert in the 3rd (explodo scenes will do that), and for some reason watery-eyed (not teary-eyed, this ain't a touchy-feely chick flick) for the rest of the movie. Same thing happened w/ Trinity, w/c I assumed was our eyes trying to catch up w/ all the 3D action and not succeeding 100 percent. Not that I blame them, 'coz that movie was long, all 2++ hours of Titanic, Return of the Jedi, Robocop, Aliens, Lord of the Rings and Pocahontas homages and countable cliche lines. That said, it wasn't bad.

After the movie we went to the bookshops looking for origami paper and looking at interior design books, etc.. and window-shopped, all to pass the time while waiting for Marc's cousins to arrive. I felt sorry for Trinity having to walk around a huge mall w/ 3 grown-ups around the time that's too late for merienda but too early for dinner. If I was 8-years-old I'd be tired and hungry as well. When the cousins finally arrived we had Chinese for dinner (Marc's treat) and Starbucks for a nightcap.

On the odd and rare instance like tonight, Mom didn't call to check up on me. Has she finally realized I'm over 30? Nope, more likely (as I found out) it was because she and Pa also went out to dinner tonight, and I managed to get home ahead of them.

It's Her Wedding Die!

NOTE FROM MOI: Happy New Year, Readers. (Okay, that's the first and last time I'm calling you that. I sound like Stan Lee.)

Decided to quickpost this instead of waiting for the weekend to finish and let it fester.

Just came from what I'm assuming is the happiest day of one of my best Beijinoy friends, Dianne "Die!" Ngo. Today she got married to her Korean boyfriend of 5+ years, Ryu Moon Yong, aka Lew. While I missed the wedding ceremony (I love the girl, but apparently not enough to drive all the way to St. Jerome Emiliani and St. Susan Church in Ayala Alabang, apparently named after a sainted couple), I (and my spiffy new suit) made it to the banquet at the Peninsula Manila, just in time to see the entourage lining up outside the Rigodon Ballroom waiting to be announced by the emcees.

Table 24 seated the Beijinoys (and some of their spouses) from the HuaQing Apartment days. Jella made a surprise appearance after saying she was going to be stuck in Canada for the wedding. The whole program went by quickly, although a fair amount of time was spent w/ translating English to Korean. And I was surprised to hear a dulcet tone coming from Die! as she made her "Thank You" speech, much unlike her usual semi-tomboyish voice when we normally talk to each other. When I commented to her about it she said that was her "English-speaking" voice. "In love" voice, more like it. (Lew always did bring out her more feminine side. :p)

The Koreans are notorious for their proclivity to drink huge amounts of alcohol, so when the remaining guests were treated to a drinking game hosted by the Korean side called Titanic, only a few Filipino guests opted to join, the rest wanting to still be able to drive home, walk straight or remember the evening. Mechanics: A small cup is placed into a bigger glass 2/3 full of beer. The glass is passed around, as is (for tonight, at least) a bottle of Johnnie Walker. Each player must pour in as little or as much JW as they can into the floating cup without making it sink, because when it does the "iceberg" responsible has to drink the while thing. While Lew's turn had him as the iceberg, Die!'s dad was cool enough to act as the captain to "down the ship," so to speak.

Many Merry Xmases

Hong Kong Fluey, Part 4 (of 4)

Dec. 14: Still felt sick and too weak to even shower and slept poorly on couch mattresses laid on the carpeted floor. No blankets, so in hindsight bringing my sweatshirt was a good call. Felt much better in the morning, thankfully, although last night's bout of stomach flu probably helped. Guess it IS possible to get sick from eating too much Chinese food.

At this point I barely remember packing, much less where we had breakfast, although it was definitely not congee. What I do remember was the train ride to Central Station, where we and our 15 pieces of luggage checked in early. The next two hours were spent going around the IFC Mall.

Again I'm amazed w/ what the Chinese did to make what's in essence a really interesting train stop. Then again I'm not sure if the place was built before or after the train station, but either way the Shangri-La, Trinoma or Gateway Mall stops don't hold a candle to this place. Ultimately it was too high-end priced for my wallet, and getting lost wasn't difficult. There are definitely worse to places to kill time while waiting for your trip to the airport.

Our flight was fully booked. Evett and I were still a little sick, and the sight of a crowded flying bus filled even more coughing and sneezing passengers chilled my germ-phobic heart. Whoo, at least I'm conscious enough to enjoy the in-flight entertainment. (30 Rock rerun or a view from the plane's "belly-cam?")

When I finally got home and removed my socks I was surprised to see my left foot (and not-so-much my right) riddled w/ red spots. I thought What the hell? Am I allergic to my socks now? The spots didn't itch, but were still disconcerting to see. (Be thankful I didn't take pictures.) Online research pointed to sand fleas as the likely suspect. Lesson? Don't sleep on Excelsior Hotel's sofas, at least not w/o bedsheets covering it, or thorough vacuuming.

Hong Kong Fluey, Part 3 (of 4)

Panoramic shot of my hosts' flat in Tung Chung

Dec. 13: Tried but failed to keep my congee-resto breakfast light. Afterwards on the way to SoGo we noticed a lot of police cars and TV news vans parking right outside the department store, and on-site reporters getting their TV faces on, microphones at hand. Sunday Man-on-the-street puff pieces? Who knows/cares. I was there to pick out a housewarming/Xmas/birthday gift to for old classmate/friend/little sister Aimee Uy (Chong,) currently living here in HK w/ husband Richard. Settled for Baby shampoo-bath set.

After one MTR misstep (fyi, Chai Wan not the same as Wan Chai, but the the right-to-left reading can make things confusing for novices) I was off to Tung Chung, located at the end of Kowloon. With one transfer to Central Station the whole commute took about an hour and I exited into what turned out to be the Citygate Outlet Mall. With the exception of the restaurants and the gadget shop, all shops had items at presumably rock-bottom prices. And me w/o a shopping list. Oh, yeah, they didn't have any galoshes, either.

Aims met me at the Adidas shop and we (later joined by Richard) had dumplings for lunch, where ordering from the menu was like taking a college entrance exam: just tick on the right circle and hope for the best. And boy we ordered a lot of dumplings. I know Aims is supposed to be eating for 2, and Richard just looks like he is as well, but... whoof. (I kid, Bong. I kid.) After the hearty meal we took a walk back to their flat, located in a private compound in an area that reminds me of the apartment complexes rising up in Bonifacio Global City: a budding and quickly growing urban ecosystem.

After the brief tour Aims and I just bought some gum and spent the rest of the afternoon sitting by their park bench to shoot the shit. Preggy life for her (at 5 months and counting) is nothing but busy right now. When hubby's department was recently downsized she became the sole breadwinner, so Bong went back to school to get his Masters degree. But resiliency is her strong suit (as well as Numbers), so I wouldn't worry about her making it through this w/ head up high. I'm also cutting this short before I end up airing all the dirty laundry here.

When I got back to my hotel room I was blessed w/ an uninterrupted WiFi connection, so time was killed chatting w/ Robs and Eileen. I later met up w/ everyone else for some wonton and noodle soup dinner, as well as my first taste of HK gelatto for dessert. And the mystery of the parked police and news people is solved. Turns out while we were at the wedding banquet last night there was another acid-attack (the 5th this year) that happened nearby.

Evett wasn't feeling well so he got the bed this time. A couple of hours later I started feeling a bit under the weather, as well. Ugh, the one time my Internet connection's not going away I'm losing strength to type on the keyboard to chat.

Hong Kong Fluey, Part 2 (of 4)

Caught up on much needed sleep last night, but only because Evett opted to take the couch cushions while I got the bed. We all had breakfast at the nearby congee restaurant, frankly because it was only eating place open that early in the morning. Our carbo-loaded meals consisted of congee ('natch), twisted doughnuts, fried noodles and shrimp wrapped in glutinous rice blankets. Also had a first taste of cold soy milk in a long while. Funky.

While looking around Sogo (got a new Lamborghini wallet, 'coz why buy the car when this will do) I spotted a cool bowler hat I thought Lola would like, but the ridiculous HK$1990 sticker price -- with a comma after the 1 instead of a decimal between the 9s-- made my eyes water. And I would've preferred a top hat but apparently those were only for the display mannequins. And they had so many on them on display, all piled up and linked together by plastic rope. Add some snow,leaves and Hugh Jackman w/ a goatee it would've looked like the opening scene to The Prestige.

All that shopping made us late for the wedding, which was held in one of their national parks (I'm guessing it was public since we didn't have to pay to enter) where the families reserved one of the courtyards. Cousin Danny's sister's son Eric and bride Nicole had just finished the formal kowtowing and giving thanks to the Heavens, their parents and relatives. Then it was on to the kissing, as guests who came from as far as The US, Thailand and Manila watched. The snack buffet tent was a nice touch, as well.

But wait! They're not done. There was no priest to officiate (duh, we weren't at a church), just a Man In Black to handle the contract signing and formalize the newlywed's union while their fathers sat nearby. As my Cantonese is so rusty to the point of being toxic I can just sum up the whole ceremony to literal pomp and circumstance. And lots of picture-taking, w/c took a novel (imo) approach of starting w/ the huge group shots (all relatives and friends) before moving down to just the couple. All this and we still had 5 hours to kill before the wedding banquet.

Next thing I knew we Chinoys were in not-so-familiar Mody Road, checking out the shopping boutiques across the overpass from the Kowloon Shangri La Hotel (seems the common feature of SL hotels in Asia are large marble centerpieces in the lobby). Giordano's was having a sale, so I got several sets for boxers (personal use and Xmas gifts), as well as a couple of belts. The ladies ended up spending much more to reach/pass the $1000 minimum needed to avail of the free bags. At the shoe store next door they spent even more, and I got a pair of Hush Puppies.

It was at our last stop at G2000 where we went for broke (not literally) and yours truly a suit and tie for the occasion. Modesty aside, I know I can carry a suit, but I just don't like wearing them, as they are occasional clothes for me, as in worn only on formal occasions, of w/c I don't attend many. That said, the wedding banquet was a formal occasion, and frankly the clothes I wore that afternoon (see the first pic, where I wasn't even wearing my brown winter jacket that, along w/ my camera and tripod, made me look like the hired wedding photographer) was an embarrassment. Backhanded comments I received after my "makeover" were more of implying how badly I looked before. ("Wow, you really looked better now than this afternoon.")

Several shopping bags and one cab ride later we were at Harbour Plaza Metropolis Hotel. (I'm able to specify the venue only because I took home their complimentary wet-wipe) At Harbour View Chinese Cuisine the newlyweds were onstage in the ballroom, now wearing their formal Western wedding outfits and having their pictures taken with guests lined up waiting in front of them. Cocktail food and drinks were prepared just outside the ballroom for other guests before the actual banquet started. Beats peanuts and 7-Up, definitely.

Dinner started past 9PM and by frustrating coincidence for my palette, the food selection was 95% similar to what we had last night at the birthday party, w/ the small distinction of the roast pig having blinking lights in its cherry-tomato eyes. The newlyweds also didn't have a presidential table and instead just sat at the first table w/ their parents and immediate family. By their third outfit change (the Going Away Evening Wear) we were treated to a song number w/ Eric on vocals and Nicole on piano. Let's just say it's a good thing Eric was surrounded by friends and family.

Hong Kong Fluey, Part 1 (of 4)

Times Square Building, Causeway Bay

*The next 4 blog entries will cover my to trip to Hong Kong last weekend.

Dec. 11-- Early morning flight, so I didn't bother to sleep the night before and instead tried to finish watching some dloaded TV. Mom and I picked up my cousin, 3 aunts and 1 uncle before headed out, flying to and landing on Hong Kong airport. Despite having had breakfast at the NAIA and on the Cathay Pacific flight, my companions still wanted to eat before going to the Excelsior Hotel.

Lucked out finding a free WiFi spot just by the desk facing the window in my hotel room, but it blinks out so often that blogging in HK wasn't an option. Worse when you're on YM and crucial questions about to be answered go unanswered. And when we arrived there we barely settled in before heading for lunch. This is all sounding like a pretty condensed account of the last 5 hours, but seeing as how I haven't gotten any decent sleep it sure felt like it went by quickly.

If only the next 5 hours went by as quickly.

After lunch we all headed out looking for Percival Street trying to find one particular jewelry store. The ladies stayed and starting looking and bargaining for shiny shiny rocks on pins. Although I was in the minority (read: male) I refused to just sit there gawking at baubles. I must've gone around a block or three several times, but my quest to find galoshes for Lola also didn't bear fruit, probably because it wasn't the rainy season anymore so all they had to offer were leather boots and moccasins.

What was a surprise to me was when we all visited the Times Square building was the books in PageOne were crazy-expensive, and every appliance store highlighted LED widescreen TVs (good show, Samsung). Unbelievable was 14 floors and still no sign of galoshes.

Now while we came to Hong Kong to attend a wedding tomorrow it just so happened my Ah-kim was celebrating her birthday tonight. So this will also be the first time I'm attending a birthday dinner party (of any kind) in Hong Kong. Surprisingly it didn't differ much from your typical Chinoy dinner in President's Tea House in Ongpin. You had your fill of peanuts and softdrinks before the 8-10 course meal started. Two glaring differences were the usual starter of coldcuts replaced by lean roasted suckling pig. (Imagine lechon shrunk to half its size, spread on a plate like a bearskin rug, and proportionally as thick, meaning you had the crispy skin w/ lean portions of meat and/or fat underneath it. Top it off with cherry tomatoes for eyes.)

The other was they simultaneously brought out the fried noodles and rice near the end. Gah, I knew I shouldn't have filled up on broccoli, lettuce and scallops.

What reminded me of the dinner parties back home was the one table filled w/ Chinese men (but in this party Chinese men and one woman) playing the "finger guessing"drinking game. From what I learned of its mechanics it's Rock, Paper, Scissors meets Basic Math and Amateur Poetry. I thought it was considerate of some participants to take the shot for the losing player who looked had he's had enough to drink, like Cousin Sonny, whose long stay in Hong Kong gave him my father's yellow teeth and chain-smoking habit. He's what Dad would be had he not left China.

PostDated

My Wednesday afternoon last week was occupied w/ two meal-meets w/ friends, though the latter was an "early early dinner" (her words) date, as the lady-in-mention still needs to eat in-between jobs.

Lunch was at Eastwood (easy enough drive) w/ Jennifer Chua, who's in town from the US (where Trend Micro sent her) until early January. She arrived in late November and still had a craving for Filipino food, so we ate at Razon's (a first for me). Afterwards I walked her back to her office at the IBM building, killed time walking around Eastwood Mall, left the place and proceeded to get lost on the road (along c5) trying to drive to Podium.

After finally getting my bearings (and better map-reading) I made it w/ 10 minutes to spare, more than enough time to buy some roses for the occasion (corny, I know, but whatever's needed to remove any doubt that this was a date).

J (ooh, now I use initials) arrived and we had the early early dinner at Arya, where she showed a predilection for spicy lamb. If there were any bumps I think they were negligible. That said, don't over-analyze, as you are wont to do. Just try to see her again.