Lines Drawn Out

Encountered lots of lines today. Surprisingly the one I thought would take longer to wait in, wasn't, and vice-versa.

Had the Altis re-registered at the newly relocated LTO office (now nearer our house) and it took less than an hour. Wanted to get prepaid plane tickets printed, and it took all afternoon.

I was already in Pasay, so I thought stopping by the Cebu Pacific office near the airport be faster then the other locations I had listed. Wrong. When I pulled a number stub it was more than a hundred stubs behind what was displayed in the LED counter. A lot those in-between probably left out of frustration, but it was still discouraging.

I decided to head for the Megamall office. I was right in thinking there were less people, but unfortunately they didn't print tickets that were bought online, and said I had to go the Robinson's Galleria branch.

And so I did. And again the first stall I stopped by asked me to walk to the bigger office further down the end of the mall. More people. Though given an "express" stub I still managed to wolf down a MacCheeseburger meal, doze off a bit and listen to 1.5 episodes of The Dennis Miller Show (One episode averaging 1 hour and 48 minutes) before I was called. In the end my transaction took less then 5 minutes. And I thought waiting in to be called in Metrobank or Equitable PCI on a busy day was bad.

On the way home heavy traffic was encountered on Araneta Avenue, thanks to the idiot Kabataan partylist group prepping to hold a stage concert in the middle of one of the lanes. (At least I now know who not to vote for.) Last week a portion of Tomas Morato was closed for an Earth Day concert, and now this. Someone should remind the organizers that "sidewalks are not for the commerce of Man," so how do they think the public would feel about shows done in the middle of a national highway?

10 Thoughts on Shooter

Finally took some friends out for a birthday-related outing, of sorts. Saw this w/ Ice and Rona. Spoilers ahead.

• You knew the moment Marky Mark's character tells his buddy, "We're going home" while in a war zone that he was a goner. That was the most predictable part of the flick. And what kind of leading man name is Bob Lee Swagger? I half-expected him to start bible-thumping then ask God to forgive him for having sex w/ a hooker.
  
• Also mandatory for this type of action flick: the supporting character rookie/sidekick (FBI dude), semi-helpless female lead (buddy's wife), and elder statesman/politician (Ned Beatty).
  
• What the hell was up w/ Danny Glover's lisp? Clear braces? Retainer? Hell, was it necessary or unavoidable? Pretty distracting, is what. I wish his character said, "I'm too old fo' thith thit."
  
• Very MacGyverish of them to show Swagger using everyday objects to heal himself (canned whipped cream as knockout gas?) and blow up stuff, but not showing completely how he does it to avoid copycat incidents. Damn, now I'll never know how to make my own napalm.
• If you're gonna have the lead character mumble his way through the technical ballistic jargon, just have him do a Powerpoint presentation, instead.
  
• Suspend disbelief moments: how no-one locks their cars or storage rooms, and how an elementary school teacher becomes an o.k. nurse and master of disguise -- or the rookie FBI agent turned expert sniper-- virtually overnight.*
  
• Wasted talent: Rhona Mitra. Her stint as Lara Croft was more interesting than her role here. They could've at least made her part of the conspiracy.
  
• What kind of f#@ked-up "self-inflicting-gunshot-wound-to-the-head" contraption was that? From a forensic perspective that thing woulda left marks and made the "suicide" look way too suspicious.
• Hunh. Didn't see that climax coming. Half-expected a bigger shootout in the snowy mountains (Btw, how the hell did Swagger get there ahead of them w/o a chopper? With his fugitive status I doubt he could've rented one.) Ah, well, the ending makes up for it.
  
• Better than I expected. It's The Fugitive meets Eraser, only smarter than the latter. Next time I see this will be on DVD w/ subtitles, because almost everyone mumbled their damn lines! Fine, this was based on a novel, but I ain't gonna look it up just to find out what the hell you were talking about.

*Yeah, he was already an expert sniper in the novel, but again, you had to look it up to know that.

Iloilo and Igbaras 2007 (Day 2)

Jorn picked me up around 7:30. Accompanied by his dad and sisters Goldine and Glyza, we began our Good Friday morning drive to Igbaras. As the Tamaraw endured the rough “roads,” stories and information were exchanged. By coincidence it turns out Jorn’s family knows my cousins the Hao Chins (through Lisa). Friendster really does unite us all.

On this trip I didn’t wear a watch (avoiding that annoying wrist tanline), so I wasn’t sure how long we traveled (or hiked afterwards, for that matter). Our guide Roger welcomed us and we were escorted to his humble home and fed a vegan breakfast.

As a certified meat-eater this was a first for me. My friend Julie (who introduced me to Jorn as the go-to-guy for this trip) already told me that as 7^th Day Adventists, Roger's family would serve a “semi-vegetarian meal.” Well, from the first uraro rootcrop to the camachilli I knew this was going to be one flavorless meal for me. But I’m a guest so I politely accept, chew and swallow while Jorn’s dad -- a Taoist – espouses the benefits of food that comes from the earth. Turns out Jorn’s family won’t eat anything that bleeds or “crawls on all fours.” Personally I prefer veggies growing out of the earth, but I don’t say anything. After 1 banana dessert and light coat of sunblock (I’m a real pussy for sunlight), we started our nature hike.

This summer was drier than usual, so most places where rivers were supposed to be streaming instead looked like newly emptied aquariums. This reduced our chances for a swim in one of the caves. When we reached our original destination, Nadsadjan Falls, it was already teaming w/ people. Roger suggested we climb up higher to a more secluded waterfall. One look at the dirt trail and my inner Jew thought, Oy.

This was where I felt most of the work, mostly on the legs. It helped that I brought my MP3 player (playing The Dennis Miller Show). It didn’t help that my shorts kept riding up and restricted leg movement every time we were climbing. We went though dried swamp, forests, grasslands and places where you better watch which branch you grab, lest it be teaming with big-@$$ ants. Fortunately the ants didn’t bite, but the cuts and scratches I got from the local flora were more than enough to remind me not to f*ck w/ Mother Nature.

The climbs were definitely perilous. For the most past we were so close trail’s edge that one misstep would’ve been fatal (or really, really painful). Strangely enough this dispelled my earlier misconceptions that if you’re closer to the edge the greater gravity's pull on you.

Another surprise for me was how easily, almost instinctive, I climbed, by now on all-fours. I noticed that when climbing I get tunnel-vision; instead of looking where I’m going (peripheral vision to see where the people ahead of me were) I look at where to place my foot next. My real fear was the ground collapsing from stepping on the wrong rock or patch of dirt. My other fear was the ground giving way on the people in front of me and we’d all tumble down. Third fear: damaging the digicam. When we reached the rocky areas I was like Jackie Chan and leaping instead of climbing. It’s like my feet know where to land. Guess those hikes I did in China helped. (Eat it, wall-climbing!)

Waterfall In Igbaras

Finally we reached of destination. It looked to me about a hundred feet high (uneducated guess, of course, since I suck at math). We were still a good 50 meters away from the actual falls but still felt the spray from the water crashing down. Argh, digicam’s getting wet! No swimming pictures for now. Brrr, water’s freezing! Tough it out. Ugh, the ground’s slimy! Argh, the waterfalls’ pounding my back like I’m pizza dough and I’m getting foot cramps! All in all a relaxing swim.

It didn’t feel like we stayed long at the falls. Not that we could, since there was still the long trek back down to look forward to. Sigh. All the relaxing we did might get cancelled out. The trail back was mostly different from the one we took getting to the falls, but no less arduous. I grasped at long stalks of dried grass for leverage during the climb, hoping the ground they were rooted on was solid enough. We passed by several long black tubes running through the forested areas. These were probably carrying water to bring to the dried out crops. I even saw my first rice terraces up close. Albeit covered in topsoil. I joked that this was where they buried the hikers who “gave up.” During one of our breaks from climbing Roger pointed to the top of a mountain and said that’s where he brings his kids for hiking. I asked if he was punishing them. ;)

Finally, FINALLY we made it back to Roger’s house by early evening. My feet weren’t killing me, but my toes just wanted to die. We were served buko juice (not my drink of choice but I was too thirsty to complain) and more uraro. I tried to pay my share but Jorn’s dad, bless his Taoist heart, refused to take my money. In the end I just sneaked 500 bucks in one of the empty fruit trays and hoped Roger's wife or kids would see it after we left.

Save for the one incandescent and fluorescent bulbs each in Roger's house the rest of the area was pitch black. Walking back to the truck was a trip, as I used the light from my digicam’s viewscreen to make sure I don’t fall into the ditch. The drive back to Iloilo felt longer. We even picked up some hitchhikers along the way (no psychos; it’s a family trip). When we reach Iloilo I was invited to have dinner w/ Jorn’s family before they took me back to the hotel.

The house was 3 stories up, w/ Oriental string music playing in the background. Dinner was vegetarian (‘natch), but thankfully cooked. Afterwards Jorn’s mom even invited me to stay over at their place instead of the hotel. I politely declined, as their hospitality and generosity was more than enough for today. I didn’t eat too much, since I was supposed to have dinner w/ ‘Sen and friends later. But since we got back so late it didn’t happen, and stupid Jollibee was closed by 8pm, or at least didn’t deliver after 8… so why’d they answer the phone?

Iloilo and Igbaras 2007 (Day 1)

Stupid Air Philippines sics the "no liquids and lotions" rules on me at the check-in counter, so I was forced to check in my backpack. Guess all that double-checking I did on their website for that very rule was a waste of time. 'Sen picks me up and gives me a cursory tour of Iloilo City, w/c was quiet this Holy Thursday.

Our first stop was at the Iloilo Grand Hotel, where I was booked in a room smaller than my dormroom back in Beijing. Next stop was at 'Sen store AM Trading, where 'Sen gave me use of one of their drivers. Wally(?) took me to see the city's famous churches, whose names escape me at the moment, not having the benefit of research assistants from the Department of Tourism or Lonely Planet. I took this opportunity to take a few pix for my "clone" collection, though mostly mundane as I didn't want to make a spectacle of myself. We visited about 4 before I switched to Christian's ride and met his fiancée Ayen, whose resemblance to Nancy Castiglione is something I don't mention to her 'til much, much later. She introduced me to my first bite of bibingka. Ever.

We had bulalo for lunch, then went shopping for butterscotch (and other assorted snacks) to bring back home w/ me. Few more church visits, each one w/a distinct feature that helps you remember its look, if not its name (a technique I've used on my acquaintances). The church w/ the mosaic design. The church w/ the sandstone look (actually terracotta). The church w/ the fabled "growing" Sto. Nino statue. The church w/ the funky tree and a statue of St. Lorenzo Ruiz underneath its twisting branches. The church w/ Jesus half-hanging on the crucifix. During all this I was keeping in touch w/ Jorn Wong, who was arranging my trip to Ibaras for the nature hike up to one of their famous waterfalls.

I also got a tour of the city, seeing Spanish-era houses and buildings still being used and looking livable (as opposed to the firetraps here in Manila), as well the both SM and Robinson's Malls. Caught a brief glimpse of the "Pink Mansion," w/c gave a figurative and literal meaning to the term "gay-ass house." Man, if I hadn't accidentally bent the battery latch of my digicam (or wasn't in a moving vehicle) I would've taken pictures of both the pink house and van.

Christ and Ayen dropped me off at the hotel so I could rest up before we meet up again for dinner. Who am I kidding-- about an hour later I was already doing exercises and deleting unwanted channels on the cable TV (ooh, an episode of Bibleman...). Aw, no 24-hour PBB channel like in Boracay? How would I follow the banality of those quasi-celebrities? (Wendy's a looker, but girls got issues. For someone who keeps screaming hysterically at a housemate dressed like Sadako from Ringu even though you already know it's a fellow housemate, God knows how you kept your wits about you in your reign as Miss Tourism) I managed to catch Law & Order before they picked me up and we had dinner at one the few hotel restaurants that were actually open. Met 'Sen's girlfriend Rondstadt ("As in Linda?" I asked). No pork for Holy Thursday, so no sisig. Still, we had seafood, w/c is Iloilo's specialty, anyway.

More select pix below:

Driving Me Nuts

Family driver's away on vacation for the week, so it fell upon to me to drive Ma around for errands, mostly concerning the newlywed house.

It's only been two days but I never realized how draining an experience it would be. Just sit on your butt and drive around. How hard could it be, right?

Maybe it's the monotony. Maybe it's all the waiting around. Maybe it's how you have to be on-call so even when you just got home you have to step out again because someone forgot something somewhere. Oh, hell, it's all of it.

Not to sound elitist, but thank god we have a chauffeur.

Buffeted Out

Attended a buffet dinner at the Circle last night, then another one at Market Cafe for lunch. Noticeably ate less today than the night before, but always started the meals w/ sushi and ended it w/ either fruits or ice cream. While Market Cafe had better fruit and ice cream selection, circle did a better job of grilling meat.

Feel really bloated, but for some reason my body won't let me stay that way. It's like all the exercising I do has conditioned my body to stay at 150 pounds, so that the moment I feel too stuffed, it's twosies for me.

(That's about as graphic as I'll get when it comes to talking about bowel functions.)

Duty Free Afternoon

The 'Rents came home from a 10-day trip to Perth, Australia last night. Today we went to the Duty Free Shopping Center. (I hesitate to call it a mall.) The drab lighting in the place makes me wonder how balikbayans get enthused about coming here, not to mention a floor layout that gives you only way out if you want to see everything. Tax-free is tax free, I guess.

We managed to come out w/ a lot stuff, mostly edible. Milk and Spam were cheaper, and I got a set of Phillips headphones for 300 bucks less than local retail price. If that wasn't enough, I had a nice surprise of running into my old friend CR, now a practicing attorney. Hopefully we'll run into each other again over the weekend.

10 Thoughts on Jesus Camp

• Five minutes in and already I found it a tad unsettling w/ the Children’s Prayer Conference.Evangelical Christian kids are up at ‘em, hands and heads held up high like at an El Shaddai gathering. And of course the little girl was getting teary-eyed; you’d be too if you stared up at the ceiling lights w/o blinking.

• Funny-strange (not funny haha) scene: 9-year-old Rachael giving a teenager a religious pamphlet and proselytizing just after she prayed for a good bowling game. Silly girl; doesn’t she know that God’s too busy answering the prayers of professional athletes?
  
• I really prefer my Christian hiphop songs to be satirical in nature, and not used like in a Hi-5 concert. Oooh, and preacher Beck Fischer hates Harry Potter and made the kids cry. Bitch!
  
• Like any fancy camp, Kids on Fire camp has clean air, sunny skies, Go-karts, nature hikes, anti-abortion presentations and… wait, scratch that.
  
• Funny-strange (not funny haha) scene: the kids praying over a cardboard cutout of George W. Bush. Geez, how young do Republicans have to be?
• I really can’t stand seeing religion being used for political purposes. Religion alone is trouble enough.
• Already knowing Ted Haggard’s final fate, it’s great to watch his sermon, now dripping in irony.
• Granted, this documentary focuses on the more intense and hard-line Evangelicals and probably doesn’t represent the majority of born-again Christians. That’s why I’m okay w/ comparing them to the Hitler youth leaders.
• The focus is on the kids, and rightly so. These folks are walking the fine line between preaching and indoctrination. Kids should be having fun, not deciding on the fate of their immortal souls.
• Jesus Saves. Save these kids, Jesus!

10 Thoughts on 300

• I know it's adapting a comic book, but there is such a thing as too much narration, especially the you'd-have-to-be-blind-not-to-see-what-he's-narrating-about kind.
• The dialogue made me cringe at some parts, as it reminded me of the script I wrote for my high school Passion play. Better read than heard.
• Since no-one can really say what the ancient Greeks sounded like, Gerard Butler's Scottish accent was more-or-less forgivable. (Hey, Kevin Costner made Robin Hood American.)
  
• Yes, it's been said the Queen Gorgo's scenes w/ the council just padded the story, but w/o the female presence the audience might suffer from testosterone overload.
  
• It's the good thing it wasn't a scene-for-scene adaptation of the comic ala Sin City, 'coz in the bonfire scene of the latter they weren't wearing their loincloths, and 300 wangs would've been a definite distraction.
• Once again Frank Miller conveys his fascination w/ Asian and martial arts, giving them superhuman skills. First it was w/ Miho in Sin City, now it's with the Immortals. Orientals swordsmen w/ iron monkey masks. We get it, Frank. Everbody was kung-fu fighting...
  
• The fight scenes are the highlight of the movie. Definitely out-Matrixes The Matrix trilogy. The handling of the corpses of the... losers was... creative, to say the least. And isn't it nice that Leonides could enjoy a fresh apple amidst the stench of death?
• And speaking of which, where did he get that apple? I'll take their word that 300 guys were there, but who brought the food? No caravans, mules, or even pockets. Unless they ate those mushrooms that sent you into berzerker rages before/during battle like the Norse Vikings of old.
  
• The gayification of Xerxes could not escape my movie companion's notice. Hard to miss, really. Eyelined brows and more jewelry than a dozen Mr. Ts. Sure, the Spartans made fun of the "boy-loving" Persians, but given Greek history w/ homosexuality, I think it was a "thou dost protest too much" moment.
  
• I'm not spoiling anything by saying all 300 Spartan soldiers snuff it (not simultaneously). It's happened in similar war movies like Glory or The Last Samurai. Suicidal bastards. Klingons would've been proud.
  

Something I'm Telling Myself to Do Right Now

Do NOT get hung up on someone living in another continent, as the chances of you two hooking up were as likely as any Marvel comics character staying dead.

Still, it stung to see "In a Relationship" where once there was "Single."

UPDATE: Good news! It was use-that-so-guys-won't-bug-me-online trick. Well, I'm outta my funk.