Hairspill (UPDATED)

For the past couple of weeks local media have been reporting on the oil spill in Guimaras. From that also came follow-up features like possible health hazards the spill imposes, Senate investigations/blame-game and of course, how to clean it up. It's the amount of reportage (or specifically, the subject) on that last one that's bewildering.

Hair. Seems human hair is perfect for absorbing oil spills like a mop. Now cut and shaven hair is being collected all over the country. Jailed convicts are volunteering getting their chromes domed. Salons are collecting and donating their hair haul. Congresswoman Imee Marcos crudely suggested that her fellow politicians donate their spare wigs to the cause (though her mom Imelda's hair alone could probably suck up a liter or two, easy). There was even an event organized to collect the cut hair of celebrities. (Right, because nothing sucks up goo like famous hair.)

Noble intentions aside, this is the 21st century. It's not like WWII where Americans were encouraged to save every scrap of metal they had for the war effort. There are alternatives out there, people. All this hair talk is becoming this year's AIDS ribbon.

Scientists have already come up with several strains of oil eating bacteria like Bio-System B35, which is probably more efficient. And unlike clumps of hair saturated with crude oil, the bacteria won't leave a mess that would resemble the world's largest clogged shower drain.

UPDATE: Okay, it turns out NO formal study has been done on the effectiveness of human hair for cleaning up oil spills. None. Seems the idea was based on the use of coconut husks and its own effectiveness. Long story short: "Genius" thought coconut husk = human hair = just as effective! Also, environmentalists opposed to the idea say the untreated human hair (particularly those that come from salons) might do more harm, as the artificial chemicals in the hair might interact w/ the already messed up enviroment.