Wam's World

A Tale of One Bad Rat (Bastard):

The enormous creature had been skittering around the house for a couple of days now. It’s hard not to notice a rat the size of a Battle Cat action figure. Now I know why the corner of the bodega door was chewed away to a nice rat hole-size.

Two nights ago my dad and I managed to trap it in the kitchen inside the old unusable gas stove. Flypaper wasn’t working, and it seemed to detest the rat poison (Who wouldn’t?). Dad decides to Raid the stove, hoping to suffocate it.

Apparently it didn’t work as last night I still heard scratching inside the stove. At least I knew it couldn’t escape easily. I proceeded to sprinkle more rat poison around the stove (thank God we don’t have inner house pets), placed fly paper in front of it, then stuffed a roll of newspaper into the hole of the bodega door.

A couple of hours later I peeked into the kitchen with my flashlight. The creature skittered back from bodega into the stove. My roll of newspaper was shredded to the point where it almost chewed all the way through. Sneaky (as well as filthy) rat bastard.

I reinforced the hole with more newspaper, but not before placing flypaper inside and out the bodega door. That way if it tried to chew through the paper it might get caught, and it the first one doesn’t stick the second sheet might.

I woke up at 2:30 in the morning to check the trap. No new shreds of paper, but the kitchen showed signs of “panic,” as plastic jars and my box of cereal were knocked over. (I half-panicked thinking it raided the Cocoa Puffs.) Must still be inside the stove when it found out it couldn’t escape, clever ‘ol me thought.

I hate being wrong.

Come breakfast time I saw a rat hole-sized hole (about the same size as the rat-hole-sized hole on the bodega door) on the newly repaired kitchen screen window. Idiot that I was I didn’t close the glasswindows, despite the fact that’s the first thing I did two nights ago.

Yes, it had escaped, leaving poison untouched, flypaper unused (save for the smattering of newsprint all over it like feather on tar), and newly repaired kitchen screen window holed. What a piss-off.