You Say Bora-Kay, I Say Bora-Kai...

This is a very short story of 3 Beijinoys in Boracay (with 1 cameo by Rad).

DAY 1: Don't believe it when the airline says "45 minute flight," as it was more like an hour, not even counting the airplane's prep time. The 32-seater SeaAir plane might as well have been a G-Liner bus with wings, only G-Liner buses have more seats.

Obligatory airport pre-departure shot.

After Lyndon, Catherine and I arrived in Caticlan airport our travel guide('s sister) welcomed and escorted us to Boracay Island. One tricycle, boat ride and short walk later we checked in our room at La Carmella, which resembled my BLCU dorm in Beijing, only painted in cream.

We had the most expensive brunch at the nearby Boracay Regency and afterwards took to their beachfront, with Lyndon and Catchu wanting to tan (i.e. burn) while I opted to stay in the shade and catch up on sleep (since I only had about 2 hours worth of it since we flew in).

The rest the day was spent walking along the beach. We happened upon one of several sandcastles being built, and quickly took our picture in front of one (thank god for tripods) before somebody asked us to pay money for it.

So we just walked around, being approached by every other guy offering their services in island hopping, parasailing, banana boating, jet-skiing, flying fishing or henna tatooing. (What, no ganja?) A sort of-International incident occurred when 'Don got into an argument w/ a German restaurant owner who refused to cancel our order when we found out that we couldn't use their beach chairs w/o paying extra. (And we were already customers!) We complained to the cops and "filed" a complaint at the local LTO office. Needless to say that was the most stressful plate of calimari I ever ordered.

All that walking brought us to Station One, where we caught sight of a grotto of the Virgin Mary (easily accessible during low tide), a wedding reception being prepared, as well as a couple of celebs (including one b-list lady bronzed beyond belief doing some fire twirling) talking to the Mario Dumawag, ABS-CBN's entertainment reporter. Ran into Rad later on.

Later in the evening I found out that my cousin Marlon was one of the standup comics being featured in Jack TV & ETC's promo show. After a satifsying kebab dinner we headed for the show, w/c took forever to start as they were having some trouble getting more people to watch. One of the producers asked if we were staying for the show. When we said yes she asked 'Don and Cat to participate in one of the parlor games. Cool! First night out and already we get TV coverage (and free beer).

My cousin doing his act. I would've added sound but the audience was so quiet...

So after the first two standup acts (Marlon went first and kinda bombed, becoming a front act by default for the more experienced comedian after him) 'Don and Cat were called up for the game: condom blowing. 'Don won by 2 "balloons" and they got a couple of gift bags (free sample condoms and shirts, natch).

No gym? Improvise. Ab crunches before bedtime.

Day 2: Ran into my friend Harry the DJ on the beach. Turns out he and his crew also booked at La Carmella and he hosting a show tonight at Station One. The day was spent walking around D'Mall (the one Pinoy habit that's hard to break, it seems). Spotted Maui Taylor and her natural flotation devices.

We booked a flying fish ride for 4PM but overnapped, missing our appointment. While waiting for the ride (that eventually) never came), chance passenger style, Catcho honed her sand sculpting skills. I found a plastic crab mould earlier this morning that was just begging to be used. 'Don was making busy making "Hero of the Beach" poses.

"See, there was this long line of people having their picture taken in front of the sandcastle, so..."

Probably the 11 ka-zillionth henna tattoo done since we arrived.

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Killing time at one of the Boracay Regency lounges.

Day 3: Went scuba diving for the first time. Cool stuff, w/ minimal moments of panic. Seinfeld spoke the truth when he said the main goal of scuba diving is to Not Die. In my case it was that and make sure the fishies don't nibble my fingers off while I fed them crackers. After lunch the 3 of us were supposed to join the 2nd diving trip but were ditched by Lyndon's "friends" for actually arriving right on time. Whatever. We tried the flying fish ride, instead. Speedboat drivers finally managed to throw me and 'Don off the thing on the 5th turn. (500 bucks for aching biceps and this...?)

Pizza and salad for dinner. Went shoe shopping at D'Mall, where I finally found the perfect leather sandals to replace my old ones.


All the way to Station 1 for Johah's Fruit Shakes. (If it's so good why couldn't Jonah open a another shop at Station 2?)

DAY 4: On the last day Mother Nature decides to cool down a bit and actually bring down rain. Lots of rain. Our flight home was delayed. Celebrities spotted in the departure area include Chinggay Andrada and Agot Isidro (growl...).

Yeah, Asian Spirit's plane was so small and rickety that a using a circa-1960s portable TV, a Walkman or pseudo-Gameboy might interfere with its operations and take us down.